How to Overcome Your Fears

By NomadicMatt | Published: May 19, 2011

bunging jumping off the cliffFear. It’s what keeps us from living our lives and achieving our dreams. And it is the most common reason why people don’t travel.

Whenever I talk to people about long-term travel, they tell me they wish they could do what I do. Then they come up with common excuses as to why they can’t:

They fear not being able to afford the trip.
They fear they have too many responsibilities at home.
They fear they won’t be able to make friends on the road.
They fear not having the ability to handle it.

With all that fear, it’s much easier to stay at home in our comfort zones than to break out and travel. So most people simply stay at home, held back by their own fears, wishing they could travel but never doing so.

One of the most common emails I get asks about whether or not someone should travel the world. Do they quit their job and go for it? Are they in the right stage of life? Will everything be OK if they leave? Will they get a job when they return? These emails are peppered with nervous excitement over travel’s endless possibilities, but there is also always one underlying tone to the emails: “Matt, I want to go, but I’m also afraid and I’m not sure what to do.”

Dropping everything to travel the world takes a lot of courage. While many people claim “real world responsibilities” are the reason for not traveling, I think fear of the unknown is really what holds people back. It’s easier to live the life that is familiar and stick to our routines than to venture out into the unknown. There’s a reason why people always go with the devil they know. But, looking at them logically, the common fears people have about travel have no substance:

You aren’t the first person to travel abroad.
One of the things that comforted me when I began traveling was knowing that lots of other people traveled the world before me and ended up just fine. If some 18-year-old from England on a gap year came home in one piece, there was no reason I wouldn’t, too. You aren’t the first person to leave home and explore the jungles of Asia. Columbus had a reason to be afraid. You don’t.

You made it this far.
If you already have one foot out the door, why turn back now? What will you regret more later in life — that you let your fears keep you home, or that you went traveling? Sometimes you just have to go for it. Everything works out in the end. Don’t turn back halfway.

You are just as capable as everyone else.
I’m smart, I’m capable, and I have common sense. If other people can travel the world, why can’t I? What makes me think I lack the skills? I realized that there was no reason I couldn’t do it. I’m just as good as everyone else. Don’t doubt yourself. You get by in your life just fine now. The same will be true when you travel. Trust yourself.

Responsibilities are a false crutch.
Everyone uses “responsibility” as the main reason to avoid travel. But that is just your fear telling you that you have things at home that can’t be let go of. However, those responsibilities are simply chains that hold you down. When I quit my job, I didn’t have to work anymore. When I cancelled my bills, they disappeared. When I sold my car, the payments were gone. When I sold my stuff, I didn’t have any. We think this is all very complicated, but, with a few phone calls, everything that held me back was gone; taken care of. Suddenly, my responsibilities disappeared. Vaporized. It is easier to cut the cord than you think.

You will find a job.
Another reason people get held back is the belief that when they go overseas, they will become unemployable. They worry that employers will see a gap in their resume and not want to hire them. But in this globalized world, having experience with foreign cultures and people is a real asset. So is showing that you are independent, courageous, and capable. After all, no one makes it around the world without learning these skills. Employers realize this, and now look at travel as a positive thing that teaches intangible personal skills no business school ever could.

You will make friends.
People always ask me how I make friends on the road. They tell me that they’re not very social and that it’s hard from them to meet strangers. The truth is that when you travel, you are never alone. There are many solo travelers out there in the same boat as you. You’ll find people who will come up and talk to you, even if you are too scared to go up to them. I used to be nervous talking to strangers, but the fear subsides as you eventually realize that everyone wants to make new friends. And one of those friends is you.

You can always come back.
If you make it three months into your trip and decide that long-term travel isn’t for you, it’s perfectly okay to go home. There’s no shame in cutting your trip short. Maybe traveling isn’t for you, but you never would have known if you didn’t try. There’s no such thing as failure in the world of travel. Getting up and going is more than most people do, and if it isn’t for you, at least you tried it. That in itself is a major accomplishment.

Fear is an element that affects everything we do. Yes, fear is a healthy biological response designed to make sure we don’t do foolish things. But, in many ways, fear is the reason why we never succeed. It’s scary leaving everything you know and heading off into the unknown. However, once you look at why you are afraid of doing it, you’ll realize there’s no reason to be. You can travel. You are capable. It’s not as hard as you think.

Don’t let fear win.

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57 Outstanding Responses to "How to Overcome Your Fears"

  1. Nicole says:

    Thank you so much for writing this article….I think fear is what keeps holding me back and I don’t quite know for sure, how to break away from that just yet, but I know I’m getting there. :)

  2. Vi says:

    And I fear to do bungy jump :)

  3. I totally agree with the notion that if you already have one foot out the door and you let fear or any other excuse keep you from traveling, you will undoubtedly regret it. When I finally decided to listen to my gut and just go for it, my life changed for the better in ways I couldn’t have even imagined.

  4. Mika says:

    What about those of us with college loans that we can no longer postpone? If you are debt free, I believe it is really easy to travel. But what about the people who aren’t? Any tips for them? How do you travel when you have bills that can’t go away? I would love reading an article about that!

    • NomadicMatt says:

      I’m still paying off my student loans. You just need to budget your money. If your loans coast 200 USD per month, than you need to factor in an extra 2400 USD in your trip to cover your loans. Debt is all about money management. It requires you to save money and spend less. When I left in 2006, I had 50,000 USD in student loans. I simply tucked enough extra away to cover the loans.

  5. George says:

    Thanks so much for writing this. I’ve always been afraid to travel because I am very shy. I have always had this fear of not being able to rely on myself or enjoy myself because of my timid nature. After reading your piece I think maybe I could just go for it and see what happens.

    • NomadicMatt says:

      I think we all have these fears. Everyone is afraid of the unknown- it’s human nature but look at all the people who did it and came out just fine! You can do it too!

  6. Matt, well put. I discovered after I ‘cut the corporate cord’ my biggest obstacle was always myself. Once I really started really doing what I wanted instead of hiding behind fears, wow, I finally found the green grass… It’s wasn’t always ‘easy’ (the trip, the return, the next trip ) but it’s best decision I ever made…

    stay adventurous, Craig

  7. Fabio says:

    Thanks Matt, this is one of the nicest pieces I’ve read on this website so far.

  8. Dale says:

    It’s amazing how pushing through a little nervousness or fear can open you up to a world of awesome travel experiences. When I was in Cairo, a few friends and I accepted a ride home from some Egyptian delivery guys we met at the restaurant we were eating at. It was three to a moped and the other moped got a flat tire. It was hilarious, a little nerve racking, and awesome. I now share that story a lot with my friends.

    Cheers,

    Dale

  9. In addition to some of the fears mentioned above, I had to overcome my fear of pulling my kids (then 8 and 11) out of school and taking their education in my hands, as well as worrying about their homesickness. My husband faced the fear of jeopardizing personal and professional relationships by leaving his job. We both feared re-entry into the community after a year away. Happy ending: The year of nomadic round-the-world living was worth it, the kids transitioned back to regular school just fine (and with a global perspective and love of books they didn’t have before), and we’re starting a new business that (fingers crossed) is working out. Now if only I could conquer my fear of flying. I still hate airplanes.

    • NomadicMatt says:

      I have yet to conquer my fear of flying. I’m fine except if there is a little bump and then I’m thinking about how we are all going to die. I especially hate small planes.

    • Jodi says:

      Sarah, sorry to jump in here but I just wanted to say I love the perspective you’ve brought to this discussion. I often tell my friends at home that having kids doesn’t preclude travel, but they’re understandably wary (especially, um, since I don’t have any). But it’s great to hear of your successful re-entry and how it’s propelled you and your family forward to new projects. I’m just going to have to send those friends your way to see for themselves :)

  10. Erica says:

    I know I need to break out of my comfort zone and finally travel abroad like I long to do. Easier said than done. After my last trip outside Scandinavia, in 2007, I came home with a debt (because I didn’t keep a budget and borrowed money). My biggest fear about traveling is that I will repeat the same mistake. Even though I’ve learned since and made progress when it comes to money, that fear is still present.

    As I see it, some of the best ways to prevent running out of money are to lay a stable foundation (online business etc) so one can earn money while traveling, believe in one’s ability to save and generate an income, learn how to bring in new business, set and follow a budget, and turn fear into love. And now I need to follow my own advice!

    Also, savings. How much savings one needs obviously depends on the where, what, when and how but it can be challenging to set a minimum amount and then just go for it when that target is met. But how much is enough?! That’s a question I’ve tried to answer for quite a long time.

    • NomadicMatt says:

      Erica! You can’t be going into debt to travel! Save money and do a web search (or read my book you have) about different country costs and that can help you plan so you don’t run out of money! You don’t need a lot to travel but you need to be smart about how you spend it!

  11. It´s interesting how we all have our own fears that we need to conquer. On the one hand, as a longterm traveler, I don´t hesitate to hop on the next plane or cross a border into unchartered territory; however, I´ve always shied away from creating my own website because I didn´t feel I would be able to create it with ZERO background knowledge of webdesign and coding. I finally just decided I´m going to do it and purchased Matt´s two ebooks on how to create and monetize a travel blog. Fast forward to the present, I´ve got just a month left on my 18 month backpacking trip and already the skeletal framework of my site is up! I can´t wait to launch it in July and I feel confident it will be successful because of the advice and tips I received from these two ebooks along with some follow-up independent research. I´m excited because I´ll finally have a platform to share the over 30,000 travel photos, 300+ youtube videos and other articles I´ve written mostly for just family and friends. Anyhow, just wanted to mention here that if you´re facing FEAR about creating a travel blog I highly recommend Matt´s books! It´s given me the blueprint on how to not only create a blog but how to make it successful. Now it´s up to me to get down and do the dirty work to manifest it into reality. Thanks Matt!

    • NomadicMatt says:

      Samuel, I’m glad you enjoyed the books. Looking forward to seeing your site evolve as you put the tips into action!

      • Thanks Matt,

        I recently read your biggest travel regret article. I certainly agree with you that I wish I would have started traveling earlier and if I could go back in time I would have done at least half of my university degree abroad on exchanges; however, my biggest regret by far is that it took me this long to get a travel blog started! I should have been doing this years ago :) Regardless, I can´t wait to launch in July. I´m getting some video and photo projects done while organizing some of the writing I´ve done over the years during my last few weeks in Thailand. When I do get it going soon I certainly won´t have a lack of content :P

  12. When I was 38 I sold everything, quit my Executive Director job, ended a bad relationship,grabbed my 2 suitcases and two cats and got on a plane to Italy with no visa or Italian friends or job. I managed to make it for two years including working. When I was 49 I ended my successful thriving business, sold my lovely home, walked away from my 6-figure income, and moved to France to marry my French fiance, now husband. It took guts both times but I overcame my fears for the love of something new and better. Having said all that, I must admit I also paid the price financially, security-wise, retirement-wise and in a few other ways, so it’s not all warm fuzzies and joyful moments. There have been plenty of difficult and lonely times so it’s important for people who want to go this route be aware of the pros and cons and be realistic.

  13. Kellye says:

    Thanks Matt for this inspirational post! At 22 and living in a boring town (outside of Niagara Falls, NY), I’m itching to travel the world but I’ve always had a fear of going alone or what if situations. Within the last couple months, I said “screw it, I’m going to travel! Whether it be with friends or alone.” So I got a second job, I’m paying off past debt, and have a separate account for travel. Reading this post, just confirmed that everything I am doing is the right thing for me. Thank you again!

    • NomadicMatt says:

      If I waited for my friends, I’d never go anywhere. You have to just do it and it’s good to see you are too! Congrats on taking the leap!

  14. Great article, Matt. I recently resigned from my well-paid corporate job in April and am currently selling everything that I own in order to travel. My fear changed from the normal ones you mentioned above to the fear of being on my death bed and NOT having seen the world. All of a sudden, this fear was worse… You know the saying, “We most often regret the things we DIDN’T do, rather than the things we did!”. We only have one life and I am seeing the world :-)
    Take care, thanks for the great post!
    Colleen

  15. Rubin Pham says:

    The most important thing you can do to be a world traveller is to have an open mind.
    Do not stereotype an entire nation as being rude or savage.

    • Are you still going on about how I don’t like Vietnam? People don’t need to like every country they visit in the world. Some places you just don’t like. It’s like how I love sushi but some of my friends won’t even look at fish. Different strokes for different folks. I know people who HATE Thailand. I think they are crazy but everyone can have their own opinion.

      I respect yours. Please respect mine.

  16. Megan says:

    I can attest to the fact that travel will not hurt your career. If anything, it will only make you a more attractive employee! I travelled round the world for nearly a year, and it took me no time at all to find full time marketing employment again (albeit only a contract position – I’m not finished travelling yet!). No one I interviewed with even batted an eye about the gap in my CV – they asked a few interested questions and that was it. I was also able to use experiences from my trip in my interviews as examples of my skills, especially for things like tenacity and adaptability and learning new things quickly.

    • NomadicMatt says:

      Thanks for this comment. it only highlights the point more with a real life example! Awesomesauce!

  17. Amanda says:

    great post! I agree on all counts, though I have yet to travel around the world per se. Fear is definitely the major inhibitor for me – I have an overactive imagination and worry about something really terrible happening to me – but, let’s face it, that could happen anywhere. I could get hit by a bus here in ottawa tomorrow.
    I’d be leaving for morocco today if i weren’t totally broke. sigh :)

    • NomadicMatt says:

      Whenever I go home, my parents always ask me why I have to keep them up at night by going to all these “dangerous” places. I counter by saying there’s a lot that can happen in the US and if we turn on the news we could find lots of killings and thefts and rapes. It’s a good rebuttal. Bad things can happen to you anywhere!

  18. Michelle says:

    Thanks for writing this! It’s definitely a post I want to pass along to my friends who are hesitant when it comes to traveling. I had a teacher who once said that you’ll never know what you’ll miss unless you do it…and I’ve never looked back on that mentality since!

  19. Reena says:

    Great post. I think fear really holds a lot of people back – they assume every place in the world is dangerous because they heard some random story about a person going missing, or about a drug war or whatever. Often they don’t realize that their hometown is probably more dangerous than their travel destination! Bad things can happen to you anywhere, so why let that fear stop you from having amazing experiences on the road?

  20. I think this is the post I enjoyed the most! Fear makes us not to do things we would love to… not good!

  21. Alex says:

    Now that I think about it, I’m not really afraid of travel, its just that I’m not one of those impulsive carpe diem types that can drop everything and go. I plan on traveling in about 2 years, I want to get a job, work for a while and save up enough money while doing copious amounts of research. Then when I come back it will be easier for me to start working again. If I do this, then i’m doing it right.

  22. Nick says:

    Ususally I’m facing the fear of the countries the language of which I don’t know, and where nobody speaks English )

    • NomadicMatt says:

      You would be surprised. Most people can speak the basics but not knowing languages has helped me learn to spot non-verbal cues and communication. Plus, miming out what you need can usually do the trick too!

  23. Denise says:

    I wouldn’t say it is always about fear. Often, it is simply that travelling long term is expensive, as not everyone can have a successful online business (which means that while travelling, their income is simply 0). The only ‘responsibility’ that can never be cancelled or sold away is the one which we have towards ourselves in the future. We cannot just travel and earn nothing (or earn and spend) and then end up destitute in our old age without savings.

    Denise

  24. Jo says:

    Hi, Matt!

    I’m Jo from the Philippines and I’m at the throes of having a change of heart from furthering my career as a physician to travelling and seeing the world. I really love the inspiration this blog about fear stirred in me!

    Thanks! =)

  25. “Don’t let the fear win.”. When i am new to a place i never talk to anyone aside from my companion. Cause i’m afraid that they would mis interpret me, but when i’ve got a chance to be open. It came into my mind that its a good feeling if you mingle to anyone. You learn new things from them and they could help you a lot too.

  26. Karen says:

    What a great post, I was very tempted to quit my job and travel many years ago before I had children, but I managed to work around it with my boss and worked on the move.. time difference was the only problem I had, but with a laptop and skype it was fairly easy to keep the money coming in albeit 50% less than I was earning.

  27. Jo says:

    Hi, Matt!

    I always find myself going back to this article of yours when I feel wanderlust attack. Such a fantastic read for someone who’s thinking of long term travel! =D

  28. x says:

    THANKS MATT. important things to be said.

  29. Pascale says:

    Hi Matt !
    I am presently working on my application to study abroad in UK next year.
    I am really excited by this opportunity, and I also understand that travelling can be fulfilling as much on a personnal than on a professional perspective. Even though, I fear I won’t adapt well to the new environment or make new friends. Your post just made me realise that I need to be confident in myself and not to be afraid to try things out of my comfort zone. After all, you remember much more something when you have this strong sense of accomplishment!!
    Thanks again for this wonderful post!

  30. Lindsay says:

    wow, this article is amazing. I am due to leave to teach abroad in a week, and I am terrified. I already quit my super secure tenured job in the US. Next step is selling the car. Somedays I get really excited, but other days I want to call my boss and tell him to take me back!!! Thanks for this great article. :)

  31. michele says:

    Fear does play a big factor especially as a single female traveling alone. I think fear is good in some ways in that it makes you pay attention, plan ahead and your travel will be fine.

  32. Tom says:

    I agree for the most part, but certain people do have responsibilities that they just can’t get away from. If you have kids and no money saved up, then exploring the world should not be at the top of your list no matter how amazing it could be or how well it COULD turn out.

    Some people just need to get into a good position financially before traveling. This does not mean a big house, every new xbox game for your kids, luxury brand clothes for the family and a flashy new BMW. Everyone can get in a position to travel as long as they don’t live a wasteful life.

    People must choose between a life of possessions or a life of experiences.

  33. John says:

    I love your post, it is really spot on and it’s funny just how difficult that first step is so difficult. When I look back I’m glad I overcame the fear because the rewards are immeasurable. The benefits are deeper than the mundane can fatham!

  34. Marcie says:

    I always hear of fear in business or achieving some goal, but I never hear of it regarding travel. This was different. And I like the comment about having experience with different cultures. That definitely makes you better candidate for opportunities. Thanks for enlightening me.

  35. Mihaela says:

    hi Matt,

    interesting topic you have chosen for debate. I agree with you that fear is keeping us away from many positive experiences. Once you overcome your fears you find the doors open: alternatives, solutions. I would add that one must have will and desire; if you have these in your blood then you can also deal with fears (which are natural, it would be a problem if you hadn’t felt them:))

    cheers!

  36. ally says:

    Its early morning here in my country, but i just could not resist but to continue reading your blog that i found just last night. I agree with that fear thing. We have to overcome that fear when travelling, I ever read one medical article about fear, fear is evil.. i travel to Manila some friends are skeptical about my trip as i am a lady traveller and one friend even ask me not to be so friendly when i am there, but i just can change myself being friendly to unfriendly, but….it was a fun trip though. What s important is how to bring and blend with the locals. Thanks for this beautiful blog.

    ally

  37. kiwigram says:

    Travel is one of this worlds greatest experiences. As for being lonely, all I can say is to be open to the “local” people. Most of them just can’t wait to talk to a “foreigner” and find out about your home country. I also look at my daughter and am constantly amazed at what she has achieved in her life. She traveled the world for 12 years with me. Never mind this missing school. She has no “Graduating Class” or Prom. But she does have a broad understanding of the world and a wonderful job that still allows her to travel.

  38. Mark S says:

    I think a lot of what you say is true but it is a lot easier when your young and single. Being older and worried about pensions is a big problem otherwise I would be on a very long trip to Italy where I would try and stay at least 3 months which I think is all you can stay there at one time without special papers.

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