My dad always asks what I’m running away from with my travels. A few weeks ago, a commenter told me to stop running away and live life. And I once came across a blog called “mom says I’m running away.” I’m not sure why but there is this perception out there that anyone who travels for a long time and isn’t interested in settling down or getting a conventional job, must be running away from something. Traveling is something everyone should do and gap years and short trips are acceptable. But for those who make being a nomad a way of life or people who just linger a bit too long before they make that final stretch home, are accused of running away. Our life must be so bad or something so traumatic happened to us that we leave must be the reason behind our travels. People assume that we are simply running away from our problems- running away from “the real world.”
And to all those people who say that, I have to say to you- you are right. Completely right. I am running away. I am trying to avoid life. I’m avoiding your life. I’m running away from your “real” world. Because, really, I am running towards everything- towards the world, exotic places, new people, different cultures, and my own idea of freedom.
While there may be exceptions, most people who become vagabonds, nomads, and wanderers do so because we want to experience the world not to escape our problems. We are running away from office life, commuting, weekend errands and into everything the world has to offer. We (I) want to experience every culture, see every mountain, eat weird food, attend crazy festivals, meet new people, and enjoy different holidays around the world. Life is short and we only get to live it once.
As an American, my perspective might be different from the rest of you. In my country, you go to school, you get a job, you get married, buy a house, and have your 2.5 children. Society boxes you in and restricts your movements to their expectations. It’s like the matrix. And any deviation is considered abnormal and weird. People may want to travel, tell you they envy what you do, wish they could do the same thing but really, they don’t. They are simply fascinated by a lifestyle so outside the norm. There’s nothing wrong with having a family or owning a house but the general attitude in the states is “do it this way if you want to be normal.”
I feel like the reason why people tell us we are running away because they can’t fathom the fact that we are doing that we broke the mold and lived outside the norm. To break all of society’s conventions, there must be something wrong with us.
Years ago, at the height of the economy, a book called the “The Secret” came out. According to The Secret, if you just wish and want hard enough, you’ll get what you want. But the real secret is that you get what you want when you do what you want. Life is what you make it out to be. Life is yours to create. We are all chained down by the burdens we create upon ourselves, whether they are bills, errands, or, like me, self imposed blogging deadlines.
People who travel the world aren’t running away from from life. Just the opposite. Those that break the mold, explore the world, and live on their own terms are running towards true living in my opinion. We have degree of freedom a lot of people don’t. We get to be the captains of our ships. In fact, it was that freedom I saw in travelers years ago, that inspired me to do what I am doing. I am running towards the world, not away from problems. And I never plan to look back.
Bravo! Great piece. Except that today’s American are mostly out of work and can not afford that home for their 2.5 children. =)
But I applaud you for doing what you feel is the right thing to do in your life. I once traveled around for long periods of time and felt that I would never stop. Eventually I did and while I still have the travel bug, I do not take trips longer than 2 weeks at the most since I am married and have a lil’ nomad on the way.
But I dig what you are doing…and I hope you continue to do it until you are old and gray. Because you only live once…you might as well try and live it the best way possible.
I may not always be nomadic matt, but at worst, I’ll be semi nomadic matt!
Perfectly said. If you really, truly face up to the fact that your life is finite, and that you will not be here forever – and you accept that. Spending it doing anything else except living as much as possible seems folly.
Also, a typo
“…we are doing what we went”
fixed! thanks!
If I had a dollar for everytime I’ve heard that “I’m running away” I could buy myself a round-the-world ticket. Usually it was when my friends thought I was just travelling and running away from work. In actual fact I have a few businesses on the go and I work more now than I ever did in my previous cubicle farm job. My friends have changed their tune somewhat now that they know that I work remotely and am making a decent living out of it.
I think I could buy myself two tickets!
With my websites, I am always working. But, I love this- it’s not work and this “work” let’s me do it from cities around the world. I can work a few hrs in the morning, explore new countries, check email at night, and go out. It’s wonderful!
I loved what you were trying to say. My family used to tell everyone I was the black sheep, then they told them I was a rebel, and now they tell everyone I am an unfit mother since, as a SINGLE MOM, I am now “dragging my son to god awful places out of my selfishness.”
When am I going to give my son a decent life, they all ask. Ohhh let me see, is that the one where he grows up learning to be selfish, self-centered, greedy, aggressive, gratitutous, and disillusioned, etc.? Is that the world that hides behind 9-5, sleep with your neighbor’s wife world? Perhaps it is the world where he lives in a daily grind that safely keeps him ignorant of the suffering, life and death that goes on in the world. The world that keeps him from truly living life.
At least now my son knows how precious life is, and knows what it means to help others, and knows how quickly life can be snuffed away from you, and knows what it truly means to be faithful, love, honest, dependable, responsible, accountable, and knows what it is like to strive for something, set goals and feel the gratification of accomplishing them. At least he now knows what the truly important things are in life and have nothing to do with money or materialistic things. At least he knows what compassion is and how to be sympathetic and how to fight for injustice and how to stay the course when all seems lost. At least my son now knows how to be loyal and what it means to truly be a man of substance, and to be a man I AM PROUD to say is MY SON!
I love what your saying keep living life that way that’s how I would raisey son if I had one I always say I’m going to be a single mom adopt kids and show them the world so they can experience raw humanity and live to discover the soul of the world ! Don’t ever back down I wish more mothers were like you were all have you taken yor son? I’m leaving to India in ten days I can’t wait anyways cheers;)!
Something that should also be mentioned is that once you start traveling long term, you get hooked on the thrill and adventure of it. There’s a momentum, which is easy to maintain… it really becomes the norm and the sedentary life just feels weird and foreign.
Great post Matt. I bet 99.99% of the people who say “you are running away” have never really traveled, much less long-term backpacking. Keep it up!
nice article
Running away from something and running towards something is why we want to be nomadic. Who’s to judge? I ran away from a boring life in retail and came to China and have loved it so much. I would be a lot more ignorant about the world if I hadn’t ran away. I have learned so much and have grown so much in nearly a decade away. Next year I plan to go back. It’s going to an adventure in itself as I try to bring what I’ve learned while being a nomad back home.
Exactly! we are seeking adventure! nothing wrong with that!
Boy, you sound mad and defiant! Haha! Good for you. Great piece Matt. I think one thing this economic crisis is teaching us is that there is no one set way to do things or live your life. The moulds society creates for us are not necessarily the moulds we want to abide by. My wish is that more people find the courage to break from these moulds (their current comfort zones) and explore and create a life that suits them; one that makes them happy and brings contentment. Many will probably say that this is easier to do if you’re in your 20’s or 30’s with no family (i.e. children) to look after. My take on that is that it’s precisely the ‘thinking inside the mould’ mentality that restricts us. Be creative. You said it right: life is short and we only get to live it once. So,… live it!
Like they say Keith, you need to think outside the box….or in this case, live outside the box!
Amen, brother. The draw of something outside of the norm that you described is what keeps me going, too, and it does seem that most people are more fascinated by something so outside of the mainstream than REALLY jealous of someone who lives a life without a well-tread, well-defined path for them to follow.
But that’s okay. If everyone ‘got it,’ and everyone started to live a mobile lifestyle, then there wouldn’t be much point to traveling in the first place (what would there be to visit? Everyone would be milling around instead of building interesting things worth traveling to!).
I think SOME people do run away, but most travelers I’ve meet are simply exploring and searching. And that’s great.
While most people travel to explore and search, unfortunately, it seems like many people ignore this explanation in favor of assuming people are running away from something.
I think some people do try to run away. Look at the girl from “Eat. Pray. Love.” It happens but everyone I know too just wants to see the world!
I’ve heard this countless times before too – it seems the people parting with this kind of ‘insight’ aim it at those of us who are doing things which are out of the ordinary. I guess it is to somehow make themselves feel better about the choices they did or I believe, didn’t make…
“Normal” is a choice and so is every other way of life, unfortunately most people don’t realise this.
Nobody likes it when you get to do the things they want..
Well said. I agree, traveling is living, not running away.
Oh, how many times we have been judged for what we have chosen to do and how quickly people voice their opinion.
People don’t realize how rude they sound when they put us down for traveling.
Imagine the tables turning. If I said to someone “Oh God, why would you want to buy a house and have kids?” They would just be shocked and angry. It sounds very rude and I wouldn’t dream of saying it.
But when they say to us “Oh God, why do you waste your time and money traveling?” it is just as rude. Yet they feel that there is nothing wrong with saying it.
It is exactly what you said, society has certain ways of living that are acceptable and not acceptable and people really do love to voice their opinion when someone thinks outside of the box.
But I love living outside of the box, so I let is slide of my back and smile while I am living the best life i can live.
Cheers.
Loved this post…and I can so relate to it..my family says Im always an escapist and thats why i travel …to run away…am sharing this on my twitter and FB…
Matt, you’ve put into words and explained nicely what many of us are accused of. Atleast the situation is different from what it was say 50 years back. I wonder though, if this trend catches on, will the world be chaotic? We do need a good balance of loyalists and rebels at a societal level; but personally, I respect more those who take control of their life and do what they want to do.
Loved the post.. you hit the nail on the head while talking about how we need to make our life happen, do things we want and not wait for something to fall onto our laps…
I couldn’t have possibly said it better Matt. When I look at the lives of most of the people I know, I feel real fear. And I don’t mean that in a condescending way, I just know that 9-5 cubicle/house and kids/ 2 weeks vacay a year is not what I want for myself. So maybe I am running away from that, but in no way is travel a retreat from life, if anything it’s facing life head on at 90 mph.
Me too! I see it in a lot of my friends. Sometimes they actually talk about it too…which means it’s that bad. The rat race creates artificial burdens none of us get to worry about. Actually, any one who lives outside that doesn’t worry about that. It’s all in people’s heads!
Awesome. You’re definitely an inspiration to a bill-burdened soul like me.
that’s the nicest thing anyone has said in awhile! thanks!
Well said Matt, everyone seems quick to judge because we choose to live outside of the “American dream” – I’m lucky that my closest friends understand my need to travel and explore…but even on the road some backpackers have been hyper critical of long-term travel.
Since I’m telling them they need to live my life, what gives them the permission to assume that I should want the house and job?
Thanks for voicing something I think all long-term travelers can echo.
This is really the best I read about the subject. Thank you Matt. Don’t worry Priyank about the chaos. Not everyone wants to become a long term traveler – it would be punishment for my mother, for ex. It’s about choice.
The guy/girl that grows up in a family of lawyers or doctors and wants to become a baker goes through a similar experience. He or she does something “out of the norm” and will need stamina to do it. It’s all about not being judgmental. You are lucky Matt
I grew up in Switzerland, in a family of stern protestants on top of it. Life for them is work, eat, sleep – or you don’t have a “raison d’être.” I still get to hear that I am lazy, unstable and never had to work one day in my life like they had. Never mind that I earn my own money since I am 16 and never needed support of any kind.
Lately though, my father’s unhappiness over his life not lived the way he secretly dreamt of – makes him pretty aggressive. Like you said, we are only here once (as far as we really know). It’s our duty to find out what we really want and go for it.
Happy travels Matt – you are my inspiration.
Too many people equate travelling with escape from reality instead of actually seeing it as the choice to build a different reality for themselves. I’m glad you feel otherwise. The truth is, you can add the elements that you want for the life you create – and travelling on a more permenant basis does not preclude a relationship or a family. Far too many people see long-term travel as irresponsible instead of viewing it as a different, more visceral education.
You said it my friend! Even little steps outside the pre-defined norm really freak people out, but there’s nothing wrong with believing in yourself and living the one life you are given. My favorite lines from your piece: “But the real secret is that you get what you want when you do what you want. Life is what you make it out to be. Life is yours to create.” Words to live by.
When we first sold all our stuff in San Francisco and moved to Prague in 2001, there was a Credit Suisse commercial on TV that showed a timeline of “successful” people’s lives: birth, school, college, 1st job, marriage, 1st house, kid, 2nd house, 2nd kid, saving for college, retirement…and that’s when life really began with traveling and golf trips. It gave us the hives every time the commercial came on, but I think for most people it’s comforting and they can’t fathom doing anything else but.
So, I definitely relate to what you write here, especially as we’re in our mid-30s and all of our friends have the 2.5 kids and are on their 2nd or 3rd house. I like to look at it more as running to a different way of living my life and priorities than running from.
Heheh. So interesting. I know for *me* personally, traveling often IS about running away. I need to learn to 1) be happy and then 2) travel. It’s not so much about where or what I’m doing, but that I’m learning to be happy anywhere. People who travel to run away often find they are just as unhappy on the road as they were in their cubicle.. because happiness is a state of mind created by doing and living what you love, NOT something that happens to you because of outside circumstances (which actually is part of the point of the Secret- to follow your inspiration and take action). I find when I’m happier at home, I want to travel less. Funny, eh?
Great piece. My “running away” was in an RV traveling where ever there is a road.
I’ve been asked when I will quit traveling. Curiosity will keep me on my nomadic exploring as long as I am physically able to do it. After that I will continue traveling vicariously (and satisfy curiosity) through the travels of others like NomadicMatt.
This is such a good read Matt. I also liked your readers’ comments. I’m from the Philippines, and I share the same sentiment. Especially living in a country where gap-packing is unheard of (well, except for backpackers) and traveling alone or even with just one companion is weird. For my family, this concept of ‘exploring things on my own’ sorta means ‘back off I’m a freak’… and my mom would ask always every time I travel, ‘did I not give you a good life?’.
But see, that ‘good boxed life’ is not for me. And though I cannot be as nomadic as I wish to be (since Asians always have responsibilities to their families), I am pretty content with what I’ve explored so far… for now.
Your posts are therapeautic. I thrive on travel blogs when I’m stuck at home for a looong time.
I’m going through a lot of this right now. I wish I could say that other people’s opinions aren’t impacting me, but.. they are. And it’s pretty damn frustrating.
Matt,
You articulated what many nomads / travelers have tried to say for a long time. And even though I belong to the “other side” (still hoping to break that mold one day), I certainly can’t accuse you or anyone else for that matter as running away from life. You are the one living and breathing, and not caught up in bills, debts, and other burdens that chain one down to one spot. On the contrary, you are certainly more alive than most of us caught in this rat race / so-called life…Kudos to you!
Jen Laceda
Well Matt, you hit the nail on the head for how most if not all of us feel. At 35 years old my decision freaked out my parents. I quit a well paying stable job for a late gap year as they called it. Who knows how long things will last for Aracely and I, but either way, we agree… we are running to experience life. I appreciate the viewpoint and the response we now share with everyone else. Nice job Matt… keep running!
I’m 21 and about to graduate school and I am doing everything in my power to not fall into the sterotypical American family mold. I see too many people living that way who aren’t happy with life but feel they have a “responsibility” -a responsibility to be average and ordinary.
I’m running right along with you-towards life.
this is one of you better pieces Matt…great stuff!
The bit about the societal expectations of school/work/marriage & kids really struck a chord with me. I have a long term goal of exploring the forces in society that tell us this is what we’re supposed to do.
Thanks for this post Matt, I’m really in need of some boosting right now as I am T-7 days away from moving my life to the road. The timing couldn’t have been better! I really liked the reference to the book the Secret especially. I read that book when I was backpacking western Europe in 2008 and your insight on why it works for some people is spot on. Life is best lived actively.
It’s so funny that you wrote about this topic…I just had this conversation with some friends today. I got the “I can’t believe you are going to travel the Caribbean and you’re leaving everything behind. Don’t you want to start making money to get a house and all that?” Ummmmm….no. To be quite frank. No I don’t. I’d much rather spend my money buying plane tickets or spend my time hitching rides to places not yet been.
I found a definition of the word “life” that I think is very appropriate for this discussion: Life – the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual.
Its not just a molded existence…its a sequence. Multiple experiences. How can you have multiple experiences if you’re stuck in one place? And sure, getting married, buying a house, having kids…all fantastic experiences, but they’re ones that the majority of our society participates in…why not go with something different? Especially if you’re still “young”. That’s how I look at it.
Like you said Matt…you only get one shot…I’d much rather experience the world how I want to, seeing what I can see, doing what I can do in the short time that I have than to have someone tell me how I SHOULD be doing it.
Well done Matt…keep running!
I agree, Matt.
What part of the world that we choose to live in isn’t the “real” world? No matter what you’re doing… whether it’s traveling to explore, running away from something, running towards something, working a 9-5 in a cube farm… all of this is the real world. There’s no practice, nothing to wait for –this is it! Do with your life what you please. If that means 9-5ing for security & stability, then I’m all for it. If you can be satisfied with working all day for somebody else, seeking to finding your happiness at home instead, then consider yourself lucky.
As for me, that’s just not enough. I suspect that’s not enough for most of us… Hence the bad vibes.
Great post, Matt. I love that technology is helping long-term travelers create communities where we can share these sentiments.
Thank you for this blog post. I am planning to pass the post around to my friends and family that think I am running away on my frequent travels. THANK YOU!
I hear the “when are you going to put down roots?” question a lot – especially from family but this captures the “why I don’t” very nicely!
Brilliant Post. I will be quoting your critique of “The Secret” for years to come.
Wow, what a great post. I’ve been thinking about taking some time off to live abroad, and everyone (family, friends, shrink) keep telling me that I can’t run away from me. But I’m not looking to run away from me! I just don’t want to work 60+ hour weeks in some job that isn’t secure or interesting, eat food in front of my computer, and numb myself with reality tv. I admire your courage for taking off & seeing the world.
Hey Matt
First off – Love the new layout to NomadicMatt – fantastic! Dig the header, dig the home page, I wanna get freaky with your layout. Nuff said. Second, completely agree that breaking the mold is the key to living the live you set out to. I get that for some people, sucking the 9-5 pickle is all they want to do, earn some money, gain credit, become a hard working member of society, and look really good to all the other 9 to 5 pickle suckers. Whenever I meet people brave enough to break the mold, I immediately feel a stronger connection for them. I find I have a tough time relating with people who have nothing on their mind but doing what’s expected of them. Run for runnings sake, art for arts sake, and travel for travels sake. Thanks for the post matt! preciater
I have felt this way for a long time as well. Just because I don’t do the norm doesn’t mean I am doing something wrong. I am actually doing what I think is right and think the norm is wrong. Tough to get it in the heads of those who hate uncertainty though.
David Damron
LifeExcursion
Dude! I am so with you!
I often say ‘i’m running away from home’ but the truth is I am always running TO LIFE .. away from boredom, sameness and the general dullness of some lives I watch …. I am never bored because I am constantly being challenged to look at new things, new cultuires new ways aof seeing the world , challenging my old views and showing me ways of being. I am not ‘lucky’ to be able to do it either .. it’s taken hard work, saving, and frugal travel .. now i am one of the richest people i know my life is so full and rich .. google the kiwitravelwriter and see what a great time i have
Nice post, Matt. My take is: It’s always good to be different, as long as you yourself feel comfortable with the difference. Keep running towards the world.
I LOVE IT. “I am running away from YOUR life.” I’ve had that thought so many times and had to hold my tongue.
Thank you for summarizing what I’m doing for the next 6 months. When my left brain starts to give me anxiety about whether this was the correct decision, my right brain looks for encouragement in the form of words like yours.
I haven’t had anyone tell me I’m running away yet, but then, I’m a bit distanced from the people in my life at the moment. Will see what happens when I get back home and start planning my next long adventure. I expect I’ll be away more than home in the years to come. Home will be where I am. I am my home, and my home is where I am.
You are awesome in how you have created your life as a true nomad. Maybe those who tell you that you are running away are hiding from themselves…. Continue to seek out people who support your vision for yourself
What a great post! Although I am lucky enough to have friends and family that are very supportive of my overseas adventures, it’s true that it’s a “different” approach to life and there are some who just won’t understand.
My philosophy is “If not now, when?”
Enjoy your travels!
Kathryn @ Travelfusion
go!!! love this post
I heard the running away a lot years back but now people who know me never say it anymore. They have seen me always face what I “should” and walk away when I “should”….I always make time for my close family and I always have supported myself. So really what could they say that I could not let go of. ha! ha!
I have been nomadic, semi-nomadic and working 24×7 staying in one place…. each experience has taught me to lighten up, live my life, love a lot, give alot and let go.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
Cheers,
Charlane
PS I recently had a conversation with an old friend from high school and I must have stated something about how everyone always thought I was running away. She quickly said with a lovely southern accent “oh no honey, I always knew you were running to your life.” I paused for a second and thought, yeah, I did not know it but I was running to my life.
I admire that you are able to do what you do, travel and explore new cultures and experiences. I’m jealous to an extent. I imagine there is some sacrifice to that as well, leaving the comforts of home and friends and family. Not many people are willing to give that up for such long periods of time including myself, but that’s just my personality. Honestly, I don’t think it’s fair to say that 9-5 job is terrible the way you put it. Some people do get satisfaction from their jobs, I think the ones that aren’t should consider a career change. I think people confuse travel with vacation and look at you as someone who’s avoiding responsibility and work. But in your case, I guess, your mission is helping other travelers along the way. I think traveling does help to look outside yourself, but it’s not the solution towards fulfillment.
And then, there’s people who meant to return, but can’t afford it!
Who would have thought that I’d have to leave the land of opportunity to find any opportunity!
The funny thing is, most of the people who said this when I was on my three trips around the world were in worse shape financially than I was upon my return. I had taught English twice along the way and was debt-free. None of them could say the same (as I can’t say now that I’m in the “real world” again.) Besides, you can travel far more cheaply in than you can live in any U.S. city, no matter how frugal you are.
Great entry! So many of my family members cannot understand what we are doing. “When are you going to settle down?” they ask. Or, “You can’t do this forever!” they say. I’m really tired of these questions and statements. I’m the happiest I have ever been so how could what I am doing be so wrong? We enjoy our new sense of freedom. I should not have to try to justify what I’m doing. So, again…great entry!
Matt-
What you say here really rings true to all of us who’ve set out for extended travels at the behest of our innermost desires only to get a not-so-positive reaction from “friends” and family. I’ve questioned the legitimacy of friends that would not accept this as who I was; by the same token, I realized that I had set out on several trips with emotional (and other) encumbrances that proved be some ‘extra baggage’ I didn’t need.
In any case, I’m with 100% percent….but I feel it’d be a disservice to other future travelers not to address some important issues within their own lives before setting out.
I wrote a blog about, wanna hear it?
“Running Away….or Running Toward? That is the question.”
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&bID=515137518
Thanks, Matt! Nice work. Safe travels!
Regards,
TristanTravels
I really appreciated this post. It looks like most travelers get this response from people. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to others why you might want to pursue something other than the normal 9-5. It’s not necessarily an easy transition either. Thanks for your thoughts.
Matt,
I’m Rachel, from Italy.
I just wanted to thank you for this post. Most of the time I feel like a weirdo.
I talk to my friends and family about my desire to travel again and without a return ticket, and they don’t understand me. Reading your words made me feel normal, in my own way. It’s good to know there’s somebody else who travels not to escape, but to feel alive.
So thanks, from the bottom of my (wandering) heart.
I think we are running away from the mundane, boredom of being regular, some time from the unfair life and a hipocratic society, some time in search of some thing which we don’t know. And in our maverick attempt, at times we have found a moment of Life, a moment of sheer joy, and that’s enough, for us to keep walking…
‘Ach
I’ve not actually come across this issue yet. Matt – at what time did you? Straight away? After 1 year? Will be interesting to see if there is a trend among people here.
The typo in your title is cute. I picture it being said in broken English by a poor Brazilian woman with limited skills in English but a thirst for traveling.
That was just a huge typo I didn’t see!
I pictured it being said by a Jamaican with a penchant for rhyme-scheme in their vernacular
Nice one, Matt. I’m going to check out the BNT follow up to this piece:
http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2009/10/20/are-long-term-travelers-avoiding-real-life/
You might enjoy this as well, on the “immaturity” of the long-term traveler:
http://www.vagabondish.com/growing-up-immature-traveler/
Wow. I can’t believe the reception this post got! I tried to keep up with all the comments but 72 is too much! I do want to say that I sat and read all of these and loved reading your own stories dealing with this question. Just keep telling the disbelievers that they are the ones running! Enjoy life everyone….maybe we will run into each other
Matt, That’s such an insightful post. I’m always amazed by people who ask that question of travelers. Instead, they could ask you: “What have you learned?”, “How have you evolved?”, “What travel advice can you offer?”etc….Of course, that would lead to a very different (and more enjoyable) conversation.
Most people do not understand your lifestyle, they need the house, the kids to feel successful. Living life on your own terms is successful.
A few years ago when my children were in preschool I suggested to my wife that we put our noses to the grindstone a year or two so we could travel and home school our children. The thought terrified her so much she wouldn’t even discuss it, actually started a major fight for a few days.
Live life on your own terms and you will be a success.
Freedom is not an end in itself.It is what you do with that freedom that is important.if you stayed on that mythical desert island and said “Hey I’m free” after a while you would become bored.The thought would come into your head ” well what’s next?”
At least when you go somewhere do something beyond looking at stuff.Follow the Tom Ferriss model,learn the language and do one kinesthetic thing like learning a local dance ( salsa if you are in Cuba).
Just keepin’ on moving will fill your passport for sure,but what are you really looking for? Actually,the truth is inside you.
Someone once went to India to meet a famous yogi.The yogi asked him “why have you come here”
“to find the truth”replied the man.
“what,don’t they have the truth where you come from?” said the yogi.
A need to be forever moving on points to a deeper discontent.
Don’t get me wrong.I love to travel but would not do it all the time.
Peace
Andrew
Andrew, I don’t think you got the point of the article…
Congrats! Loved it so much!
I feel just the same, and even decided not to get married because of it. None of my boyfriends accepted.
I’m a 27 – year old lawyer who travels a lot and doesn’t get enough of it. I take all my 30 days of vacation and make them effective travelling days. I go to the airport in the first day and, in the last day of vacation, I’m landing. Travelling is what I love most, from planning it to coming home.
I’m saving money so as to travel for many months if I get fired. I think about it every day. If I have a hard time at work, I think this way: if I ever get sacked, the only thing that’s gonna happen is that I’ll travel for longer than that miserable 30 days.
I still hav plans to get on this wonderful nomad life and, yes, run away from the silly life.
To build upon the idea that you get what you want when you do what you want:
I believe that you get what you need, when you need it. It may not quite be what you ask for, but it ultimately gets you to where you want (or rather, NEED) to go. And the more you open your mind to all the options available, the more places (geographically and metaphysically!) you can go.
Hey Matt.
I’m another nomad, but a lucky one: my supportive friends and family don’t question me – ant interrogation is self-generated. But as I get older I’m feeling the need to query it less and less.
For example, I’ve been travelling in Eastern Europe and it’s been an education. How many MA lectures would I need to go to, in order to get the feel for the country that two weeks talking to locals gave me?
Sure, using travel as a method of escape is a centuries-old phenomenon: just like using sex, drugs or working too hard is. And some of us are maybe filling a ‘hole’. But isn’t it better to fill that hole with enriching learning experiences than by buying trinkets or getting a coke habit?
I have tried the 9-5, and it felt like a cage. If I am running away from mental stagnation, office politics and suffering five soulless days for two good ones that fly by in the blink of an eye – so be it.
But on a roof in Marrakesh, overlooking the Djemaa El-Fna, a psychologist suggested a biological imperative for people like us. Imagine if – in villages a thousand years ago – there had been nobody in the those communities who had wanted to see what was over the next hill?
We need methodical routine-lovers to inspect the aircraft that facilitate our travels, keeping us safe; but we also need creative/ideas people to dream up the cabin colour schemes and the advertising that will pull in the customers. One is no good without the other; Burning Man is a wonderful example of the geek/tech-artist interface and their inter-dependence.
Similarly, we need people to stay at home and keep places and communities together; but we also need a few volunteers to go out there and climb that hill. Bring the news back Matt, tell the folks back home what’s on the other side.
And if there comes a day when it doesn’t feel right anymore, you can always hang up those boots, safe in the knowledge that you lived a bit, and you understood a complex world just that tiny bit more.
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate…” (Bladerunner)
Thanks for your article. I just got the e-mail from my mom today telling me to “stop the running around and plant yourself somewhere” and “I think it is time to settle down now.” I copied her on your article. I wish she would understand me!
Why is it that everyone seems to believe that you’re running away from something when you’re out in the world long enough? Cus everyone I’ve talked to envies the travelling, they want to do it themselves, and talk about doing it. What separates us, though, is that they’re all talk, while we’re all do. And it’s like you say.. We’re not running away from anything, I’m quite happy with my life at home. And that’s it. I want to experience more of what life has to offer, cus it truly is too short!
Just wanted to let you know that you’re an inspiration for us with a travelbug inside of us, and that you’re blog has become one of my daily web-reads. I recommend it to others, not just because you’re living the life we all wish we could, but also because you tell us how to do the same thing
Oh yeah. I’ve heard traveling (or general mobility) facetiously called “taking the geographical cure”. (I blogged about the rolling stone phenomenon last month http://tr.im/zHfA)
Sure, travel can be escape for some people some of the time — travel is not a panacea, obviously — but the fact remains it’s a transformational force and often helps people change, and for those with particular intentions, make changes.
I’d been accused of running away. I should stay home and use the money to buy a big teevee and stereo. Apparently, what you learn and experience doesn’t count. My reply was there are better countries and people out there. And if I happened to find a way to settle down legally in one of those places, then I’d rein in my wanderings. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out as I wished. So now I indulge in a fast fortnight back in the saddle to absorb a few more places before the economy won’t allow it.
I was JUST having nearly your entire post as a conversation with my cousin. Almost verbatim, right down to “2.5 kids.”
He is rather despondent because he doesn’t know what to do next in his life and is mindlessly sending out resume after resume. He wants that bit of adventure, but I think he is too scared and I have encouraged him to check out Peace Corps, as a “safe” alternative to just taking off into the world with all possessions in a backpack. Great post, love it, two thumbs up. Once you enter the numbing vortex of “normal life,”, it’s hard to extract yourself. Keep running!
Hi Matt – I found this great quote the other day:
I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move. ~Robert Louis Stevenson
I’ve been doing a lot of googling lately, looking for ways to help explain my husband’s and my obsession with getting the heck out of Dodge. I explore it in my blog, we talk about it non-stop, and we’ve now sucked friends and family into the topic. You are right when you say that the world’s full of people who say they want to hit the road, though few do. So many things can hold you back – legitimately – and you’re blessed if you can follow that muse. We definitely want to end up on the “did it” side when we’re sitting in our rockers at the old age home.
Keep ‘em coming…
Nancy @ ShoreDiveLife.com
So I guess you now have 87 people who prove that most people DON’T think you are running away, but living life truly and fully the way you think best. You just needed to get in with a different crowd.
I’m an American ex-pat living in Turkey and enjoyed your perspective on this topic. Though I moved to Turkey for love I often asked myself if it wouldn’t have been easier to find love closer to home. But the definition of home has changed for me since moving to Turkey. The longer I spend here, the more I find that having a fluid idea of home forces me to know myself that much more – to be sure of who I am independent of a physical location.
A few months ago I read an interview with Cat Stevens who’d recently returned to music. He said something like, “Half of life is leaving home and the other half is coming back again.”
But what is home?
I have been doing a lot of thinking recently along similar lines, and my take is this. People are searching for a place where they feel comfortable. For some people, where they were born and the lifestyle into which they were born is comfortable to them. They don’t see the appeal of living a different sort of life because what they are doing makes sense to them.
For others, though the life they were born into doesn’t match a life they would feel comfortable in. Life in their home could feel slightly foreign to them. Long term travel or living abroad is a way to find a place where they feel more comfortable – an external environment that matches their internal feelings.
For me, living abroad has allowed me to feel more comfortable because back in my home country I always felt like a bit of an outsider. Now I am actually an outsider, I feel more comfortable because my external circumstance (being a foreigner) actually matches my internal feelings (of being an outsider).
Greg
hi matt- i liked reading this entry, although i had some thoughts…
when you travel, in what ways do you contribute back to society? (whether local, national, or abroad?) do you volunteer during your travels? do you spend money in places that will help the local workforce/economy? do you raise awareness about issues of injustice that you see or do you continue happily traveling?
you say you are running towards the world and what it has to offer.. my question to you is, what do you offer the world in return?
Well written piece. Can completely empathize.
I love your way of life, how you see life and things and people, your travel tales. What the heck. I love you. Will you marry me?
LOL
Ok, besides the joke, this is a really good one and seemed to me like you are reading the lines from my own heart/mind. I mean I had a wow-moment. Thanks for this. I got my perspective strengthened.
“I feel like the reason why people tell us we are running away because they cant fathom the fact that we are doing what we want.” — SO TRUE
I have been taking every opportunity to travel (generally solo) since I turned 18 and people always think I’m crazy and ask what I am running from. What do I say? That I just like to run! People always seem to be most afraid of what they want the most.
Thank you for your thoughtful post, reminding me to disregard society’s criticisms.
Sara
That sure sounds like you are running away. Someone who wasn’t running would see equal joy and pain in all things. However you definitely have some issues with people who are living in a more conventional sense.
Is it so frightening to stop and live life with just the people around you being the same? Is it so bad to have children and know they will enjoy the same friends for years and years?
Of course not. When you see the joys of not traveling, then you will be traveling and not running.
There’s nothing wrong with that. I have many friends who do it and love it. More power to them. I take issue with people who bitch and moan about life and do nothing to change it. “I would love to travel!” then do so!
It is up to each individual to live there life in whatever way that makes them happy. For some that is travelling around the world and for others that is living a more normal life.
The thought of back packing around the world and staying in flea ridden hostels and cheap hotels isn’t for me. I really hate hostel life and crap hotels with a passion, been there. But I can however see the appeal of it all for those that do it and good luck to them. I can also understand those that are happy with a 9 –5 job, wife and kids, nothing wrong with that, I know plenty of people that are truly happy and content with that way of live.
People need to stop concerning themselves with other peoples business and get on with doing what makes them feel good and happy. I recently lived in Barbados for 9 months before I arrived in London 10 months ago and staying in places long term is what does it for me.
Excellent! Bang on, man. Good on you for writing this… and keep on living your dream.
The downside of travelling around the world…and experiencing different cultures…is you corrupt the very thing your going to see (tourism is the worst disease on the planet) …then you get people saying “oh, I’m not a tourist…I’m a traveller”. Nope…we’re all tourists and while it is a great thing to go and meet new people and new cultures…..I believe its like driving a car…you need to pass a test before you get issued with a passport….too too many dickheads being allowed out their country..!!
Kudos Matt. I can absolutely relate to what you’re saying and you’ve said it well. Here’s my problem. I’ve lived and experienced this life before. It is my passion and there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t look back on my long term travel freedom. I eventually returned home, got a 9-5, tried to save money to hit the road again. BUT, i’m at a point in my life where I am feeling the pressures of having kids, etc. In a lot of these comments, it sounds like people see this issue in a very black and white manner. You can either be free and travel the world or you can have kids and a home. It is a very difficult and tough decision when you look at it this way.
Is there anyone out there who feels this way? Is anyone living in a way where they have kids and still find the time to feed the lust of the travel lifestyle? I would love to here from these people who live in the gray area. The middle ground between the two… a stationary life with a house and family vs a lone nomad with no debt, attachments or home.
Thank you for putting my thoughts so eloquently into writing. I’m just starting to realise that this is the lifestyle I am aiming for, and it really is the little things like resenting the weekend chores which drives me to find something more.
It feels like a constant battle to get everyone else to understand the concept of not wanting to settle, of not being content just to make do, but to actually want to actively seek out an enjoyable lifestyle.
So it’s nice to know we’re not alone.
WOW! Awesome article! I can totally relate to you. I get that all the time. And people envy people like us because we do what we love to do but I never understood what they were so envious about! No one is forcing them to buy a $400,000 house and be in debt for the next 30 years. Life is made up of our choices! Great article- once again!
Its amazing, I found myself nodding in agreement during the whole time I was reading that article….until I started reading travel blogs, it always felt that I was the only one who seemed to elicit the unasked-for advice from my elders of staying in one place, and getting a “real job” – seeing how I have had my fun traveling already and its enough, time to move on to a career. Why they always need to judge my lifestyle I will never know…its not like asking them to pick everything up and go travel…
Love the post and agree 100% with your comments. There is a whole world out there to explore, whether we do it all at once or in small pieces throughout our lives.
If somebody says “you are running away from problems”, they are just jealous because actually you don’t have all whose daily problems they have.
Hi Matt,
Just read your article in the New York Times Travel Section and followed the link to this blog. I wanted to say thanks for the information you are putting out there and for sharing your passion for travel with us. I’m sure it inspires people more than you know.
You are running away. But what is the problem with that? Enjoy.
Matt!
YES YES YES!! I agree with your words. Good for you. I myself am reading this article because I am trying to decide if I should travel. I am trying to work out if I am traveling to escape! The reason it feels like it is escaping is because we all know it shouldn’t matter where you go inner peace comes from within. And real joy is not the same as pleasure. I feel both the need to become a master and channel my energy into something productive, and the need to explore and live life to the full. If I am sad and look to travel to open my self up to a new perspective is this bad? Should I only travel if I also seeking knowledge?
Thank you
I just discovered your website and I absolutely love it. Please keep doing what you are doing. You are inspiration. Very few people have the tenacity to do what they want. I’m slowly taking charge of my own life. First by leaving DC and moving to Barcelona. This article really hit close to home. I’m glad that I’m not the only one!
Thanks Matt. I am K2 from bootsnall. I just had a conversation with my dad about this and I was frustrated that he didn’t understand (and I know my mother won’t either). I hope to send them your words since I couldn’t explain it myself why I wanted to travel.
Good article. I’m going through a life pretty much predesigned by society and I’m too weak or too coward to do anything else. I admire your bravery and the bravery of others who dare to live life like you. Sometimes I get so desperate about the monotony of my life that I end up in front of a computer screen reading about other places or imagining myself traveling through Europe or maybe Egypt. In fact, a google search of “running away” took me here.
Great article brother
If people who work 9-5 understood that they are really the ones who are running away. Maybe then they would understanding that they are no longer alive. 9-5=0
Now this article makes me feel normal.
Agree with you in every word.
I’m also American and just got back from NZ, my first trip abroad! The whole thing was very last minute and my friends’ and family’s reactions were a mix of, “You’re crazy!” and, “Wow, I’m so jealous!” It was for five weeks, which seemed like a pretty decent amount of time, but then I met so many people who had been traveling for several months around the world and who were shocked that I had never been outside of the states before. Most, if not all, of these people were from other countries, mainly Europe. Here I had been dying to travel for years and finally bit the bullet, only to find out just how wired the US culture is to follow that certain “dream”. I became well aware awhile ago that it wasn’t for me, but didn’t really have any clue how different ideals were in other countries. I mean, I found out today that my sister had never even seen a passport before, and she’s 35. Also, I only met a handful of other Americans while in NZ, just showing more how little we travel.
Anyway, I’ve decided that it’s better to travel now than later. Can’t predict the future and don’t want to have regrets about not seeing the world. Now to rebuild the funds and plan…
Thanks for this blog, Matt! Such a great inspiration and help.
Why is running away always considered a bad thing to do? Isn’t it worse to stay in one place when it’s not right or even healthy.
Besides, most people are trying to escape something, and staying in one place automatically mean you’re facing your challenges.
Hi,
I get your point here….I think most people want to travel and see as much of the world and what it has to offer. There is so many other cultures and different people to meet. My question is what do you do other than travel in your life? Do you have a degree/education/ a prospect of getting a good job when and if you ever decide to come back from travelling? Or could you offer your services/expertise to the country you are travelling in?
Alot of people I personally know travel and get wasted/party etc then come back to nothing…no prospects of were to go next. So in a way they did run away from their problems to experience the high life but in the end had to come back to the same problems. I am not saying everyone is the same but I think its always good to have a back plan so when the day comes to hang up your rucksack, you can do.
I’ve been trying to go travelling for 2 years now, but now have the prospect of a really decent job and a really good musical project. My time will come but for now I am happy doing the things I love. I would ideally do the same job i currently work as (Engineer) in another country some day.
i couldn’t agree more mate! i’ve been following your blog for a while now and it’s inspired me to start my own. Really compelling stuff.
I truly believe ppl need to sit down, detach themselves from all the sh*t going on around them and seriously contemplate what makes them happy…. and if that’s their 52 inch LED TV then so be it – good luck to them BUT if not then go out and seek your happiness, get off the standard trail and live your life. Ul regret it if you don’t!
Hey Matt! Gabz here (Remember me and Ilana from Rome??).
Thought your piece was fantastic – it got right to the point and we could all benefit from it being published in a paper, for instance, so that a wider audience could read it and begin to understand our kind.
Keep it real, and keep living the dream man! I am back in NZ for this year while I save for my next adventure…I can’t freaking wait! PEACE xox