Updated: 8/6/20 | August 6th, 2020
Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! This week, Kristin covers why there will always be reasons not to travel and how there will never be a perfect time to go!
Life is short — we have limited time to do the things that we really want to do. It’s also a voyage — or a sack of coins that are yours alone to spend. (Those are my metaphors for life, anyway.) And it’s supposed to be fun.
For a lot of people, that means not waiting until retirement to travel but rather getting out there and exploring now.
If you want to travel now, but you’re scared to go it alone, you’ll be able to find excuses everywhere if you look for them. You’ll find ways to say you can’t do it right now: you’re not ready; your job, friends, or fears are holding you back; you have too many obligations.
These excuses mean you’ll never get on the road.
Because at every stage of your life, you’ll be able to find a reason why it can’t work for you. It will never be the right time to travel — especially as a woman.
The truth is, the perfect time to travel will likely never come. You just need to make the most of the time you have and take the plunge.
To help you find the courage to take that first step, here are 6 questions you’ve likely heard — and answers you can use to support your desire to travel the world as a solo female traveler.
1. Aren’t you going to settle down?
A common question I get from people back home concerns when I’m going to “settle down.” Don’t I want a relationship and a family of my own? My question back to them is: Why is traveling and having a family mutually exclusive in this day and age?
Families travel all the time — some even full-time. These days, it’s entirely possible.
Of course, I have had to make choices and there are sister lives that I didn’t live because I chose to travel. I won’t know what could have been with the handsome Frenchie, because I didn’t choose to stop being a travel writer and move in with him. It might have been nice, and, naturally, I can’t ever be sure that I made the best call, but I do know that sitting on the beach in Tanzania, writing this to you, is one of the happiest moments of my life.
I have these moments all the time because adventuring is what gives me life.
I used to think that if I wanted a relationship I’d have to give up this life of traveling. But since something in me always whispered, “Go” — and I always left.
It hurt me to my core, but I had to. Because Mr. Right will only have one thing to say to me, and that’s “May I join you?”
2. Shouldn’t women stay home and follow social norms?
We women don’t have it easy. We are expected to be smart, collected, beautiful, graceful, strong, and slightly independent, but still docile enough to be loved and cared for by a partner. We are supposed to chase opportunities — but only the ones handed down to us by the status quo.
What I always find interesting, though, is that the women in history who are heralded are the ones who did the opposite of all of that.
Think of Harriet Tubman, Joan of Arc, Susan B. Anthony, Rosa Parks, Amelia Earhart, and an endless list of other women who are pretty much universally loved and respected for doing the exact opposite of what society expected of them. We praise them for their bravery, and for having the kind of foresight and ability to question the system that made them into heroes later.
Now, traveling the world won’t make you a hero to the world, but what about to yourself?
3. Won’t you stand out as a target for criminals abroad?
In the week before I started traveling on my own, an article came out about two girls who died in Vietnam, supposedly due to poisoned alcohol.
Everyone was sending this article to me, telling me to “be careful” — ignoring that a deadly movie theater shooting had just taken place in Colorado, much closer to home than Vietnam.
I went anyway, and I’ve stayed safe through over eight years of solo traveling. Sure, there are travel scams to be aware of. But the world isn’t as scary as it’s so often portrayed.
Traveling safely isn’t rocket science. Do what you do at home to stay safe, follow a few important safety tips, and choose places that are great for solo female travelers.
Start there, get your feet wet, and branch out as you gain experience and confidence.
4. How will you afford it?
I used to think that I needed to retire before I could travel full-time, and even then, I’d need to be pretty rich. For my week’s worth of paid time off, I was easily spending $2,000 USD in Mexico or Hawaii, trying to do it all and come back with photos of me having a blast on the beach with an expensive cocktail in my hand.
What I didn’t realize back then was that my money would have been worth two or three times as much had I strayed a bit farther away from home. Southeast Asia, India, and much of Central America can be dirt cheap, especially if you’re willing to do it on a shoestring.
Staying in hostels, eating and traveling like locals, and moving more slowly are all great ways to save money and turn that week of PTO into a sabbatical instead.
Even if you’re earning minimum wage, having trouble figuring out how to travel cheaply, or just think you’re too poor to travel, if you’re sitting at a computer reading this right now with a passport that lets you go to other places in this world, you have the ability to make it happen financially.
Change your mindset, and the rest will follow.
5. Won’t your family freak out?
The toughest part of traveling solo is often the pushback from our parents. We wonder how we can get them see it from our point of view and support us.
The more important issue is what you’ll regret later. Will you wish that you’d stayed at home to please your parents, who — since they undoubtedly love you — do want you to live a happy and fulfilled life?
Even if they don’t necessarily understand or support everything we do, our parents want the best for us. That’s what having a child is — understanding that you’re creating a human who will have her own brain, and eventually be an adult who is self-sufficient.
It’s your life, not theirs. Letting other people make monumental decisions for you is a great way to go down the path of regrets.
6. Why don’t you wait for someone to join you?
I understand not wanting to travel alone. I didn’t want to do it either, until I decided that I really just had to travel the world and it had to happen prior to turning 65.
I knew my friends couldn’t do it with me — they had jobs they didn’t want to leave. So did just about everyone else I could think of.
Sometimes, the dream to travel will be yours alone, and that means you have to do it by yourself if you’re going to do it at all.
I was pretty worried about being lonely, but when people asked about that a few weeks into my trip, I laughed that I had ever had that fear. I was meeting other people constantly. It doesn’t matter if you’re shy; someone will probably start a conversation with you, especially if you stay in a social hostel.
Once you get out there, you’ll see what I mean. It’s all about just taking that first step.
Every problem seems insurmountable at first, but there are ways to get around those obstacles that keep you from traveling. The key is to look for the solutions and break them down into manageable pieces rather than trying to tackle the entire thing at once.
Save up, break the news to your parents, do your research so that you (and they) will be less worried, and let everyone else’s opinion stay with them.
It’s your bag of coins, and your life. Get out there and spend it how you want to!
Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over eight years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s almost nothing she won’t try and almost nowhere she won’t explore. You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.
Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks
Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.
Book Your Accommodation
You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels.
Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:
- World Nomads (for everyone below 70)
- Insure My Trip (for those over 70)
- Medjet (for additional repatriation coverage)
Need to book your trip?
Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel. I list all the ones I use when I travel. The are the best in class and you can’t go wrong using them on your trip.
Veronika
I totally agree with you, Kristin. I only adjust destinations. If I’m low on money, I only go to cheaper countries or just for blogger trips. And just keep the ball rolling 🙂 I just had a 3 months winter break from travelling and I’ve been missing it so dearly! Finally getting back on the road again. It’s funny because I was a bit worried how to let my parents know I was about to visit Israel as I expected them to fully freak out. It turns out, they found it interesting! Who would have said that. So really, don’t shy away from travelling just because not everyone’s in line with your view of the world. But at the same time, don’t forget to appreciate them. My parents always love receiving a postcard from anywhere I go. So simple, so important.
Kristin Addis
I totally miss traveling when I go a month or longer without doing it myself! It’s an addiction, isn’t it?
Lindo Korchi
I thought number 3 was quite insightful to hear. I like the stats that you pointed out to. It’s great to see some of the crime actually decreasing, though. As for traveling alone, it’s true, you’ll definitely meet new people. Do you prefer solo or traveling with someone else?
Kristin Addis
I like both for different reasons. Traveling with others is a bit easier because you don’t have to make all of the decisions and plan everything, on the other hand, I never plan anyways and I find the most carefree trips I have are the ones when I’m alone, meeting new people and just making split-second decisions. I love that!
Kate
Loved this! I recently wrote a post in regards to ‘Female Travel’. I find it quite difficult to grasp due there being so much negative stigma.. But it’s important to remember that in reality, travel is not the issue at all. It’s entirely the way that women are treated around the world for merely being a woman.
Andrea Anastasiou
So true! I always used to be the kind of person who waited for the perfect opportunity to do things – for example, I put off writing a book until I had the ‘perfect idea’. It was only when I was in my 30s that I finally realised that, actually, the perfect moment doesn’t exist. You just have to get started! So now that’s what I do, and I think it mostly certainly applies to travelling, too…
Natalie
Where were you 8-9 years ago?! I really wish I hadn’t waited so long to travel, though I’m making up for it by moving the family to Mexico next month! And I can give some credit for me making this decision to blog posts like this and those that point out that the world isn’t as dangerous as we are led to believe.
Kristin Addis
9 years ago I was 21 and living in Taiwan as a study abroad student, and that made all the difference for me! I don’t think lamenting not doing it sooner does you any favors, though. Everything you did to lead up to this point is what you had to do to get here, and that’s how it was meant to go 🙂
Sophia Whitham
I really needed this, especially the bit about changing your mindset when it comes to finances, that bit of advice is golden. Thank-you. xx
Stephen
Great Article. I’m stuck on the because you’ll never have enough money but working my way round that
Ryan Masekela
The first concern for family members when you travel alone is safety. You just need to assure and share more positive travel memories from your travel destinations
Mahsa
exactly!! their first concern and excuse is about safety. that\’s why i chose travelling with a tour at first place.
i\’m planning to travel in summer on my own for the first time. i was always waiting for the perfect time, but i realized that the \”perfect time\” doesn\’t come by itself, you should make it!!
Dino
Really good article. I think it is a good summarisation of the typical excuses people use to talk themselves out of traveling.
The ones I often hear among my friends are:
* I dont have enough money
* I dont have enough vacation days
* I can’t travel alone. What will other people think? It will seem like I have no friends, and I probably wont meet anyone.
Well done! 🙂
A
Great article. I think I must of heard all of those comments already and I don’t intend to leave until next year.
Selene Ramos
Now that I am an exchange student I can say that traveling is really scary but really exciting at the same time but most of it is really cool because I have the opportunity to meet people from all the world, also it helps you to be more friendly and get experience in many aspects because there is none that can help you, so I have to do everything by my own and take desitions
Dian
I love this part of articles… 6) …because you’ll wait forever for someone to join you…
I really agree with you.. I was scare to have solo travelling, but when I am asking my friends to join me, they will refused it :\'( because they can\’t leave work or etc.
But, however two is better than one. So, we have one who can help us to take a picture. hahaha 😀
Maddie
I really appreciated this article, Kristin. I was fortunate enough to study abroad last semester in Madrid, Spain. I have been outside of the US a couple of times, but never to Europe. I knew there was a lot of opportunity for me to travel, not only throughout Spain, but other countries and cities in Europe. When I was not studying, I was exploring. While I did spend a lot of time with the friends I had from school, I made a point to meet new people and take risks to go out of my comfort zone. I was able to travel to 14 different countries in 4 months, but hope to make it around to more in my lifetime. I really enjoyed reading your article and after being abroad last semester, it makes me realize how many more opportunities I want to make a reality. Traveling alone seems like a great experience that I would love to make happen in the near future.
Madeleine Mills, anticipated graduation May, 2018
Freeman School of Business/Tulane University
Michelle
Thank you Kristin. Life is too short for me to wait for someone else. To be really honest, there are some people who want to go with me that I know I will not be compatible with travel wise (they will not stay in an Airbnb, not eating while sitting on those plastic chairs on some sidewalk in Asia, not sleeping on the overnight train…). I am grateful I have the opportunity to travel so I go as often as I can.
Ingrid
Really good article. I’m an older single woman and it’s always good for me to read articles like this because it is really hard to go out there all by myself. I like the pictures – where is the first one taken? It reminds me of the Hiawatha Rails to Bike trail 🙂
Husnara
Its great to read about your motivations behind travelling, we went through exactly the same thoughts when we decided to quit our jobs and travel the world with our two year old daughter. There is never going to be an ideal time, you never know whats around the corner, so its good to make the most of now. Travelling alone, or with kids can be done as long as you really want it, it can be safe, affordable and you don’t have to be disconnected from family and friends in this day and age. Good luck with your adventure.
Nicole
I’ve been thinking about just dropping everything and going somewhere this coming week. I’m always thinking about the money, things to save for–but I think just getting out–even for a couple days–is just what I need. So many things get in the way–but it really is true that we are our own first obstacle. And who knows what might happen? I just might find new opportunities.
NomadicMatt
Exactly!
Adam
Live your life is the best way to sum it up! There is such a resistance towards how everything might turn out – what people will say, what perceived dangers there might be, even the effect on your pocket book. But it all turns out okay in the end… to live bound by those perceptions means you never live your life.
Tarin
Great work. Truly speaking I never seen a blog like that. Absolutely superb work. Good luck. Thanks for such an informative post.
Sonu
i totally agree here. There are several problems for solo travelers specially for women. Money is another main problem that prevent us to fulfill our travelling dreams. You have shared very useful information here.
Jane Clements
I agree with you Kristin. There is no right time to travel and you will always be asked when are you going to ‘settle back down’. I set off 4 years ago at the age of 50. I had done the settling down (mortgage, husband, kids, dog, 9-5 job), but people still ask when I am going to go back to it all.
Never! I am having too much fun the more people that I meet in hostels who are living and working this way, the more convinced that this is MY right way and MY version of settled
Christa
Loved this, how inspiring! 🙂
I know a lot of people, including myself, think this way about travel!
Mark
Great article and absolutely right – go for it!
My 19 yr old daughter has been in Australia for 5 months and has no intentions of returning yet. She has ‘too much to do and see’.
There is a lifetime for her to continue with her education and she has gained more in the last 5 months in terms of confidence, self esteem and general life experience than she would ever have gained at college.
She set off with a plan and a budget but found that living simply her money went further than she expected. Her motto now is ‘work – travel – work’ and this keeps her funded and going.
She knows where we are and with modern day communication we can keep track of her (most of the time! ) so her safety doesn’t really worry us – despite some scary recent stories.
I was interested to see that parents can be a barrier. My only response is: I wish I was 30 years younger!
Go for it!!!
Mascha
It’s so true that the time just never seems to be right. I also used to be the type to put things off forever and then one day regret it. The money isn’t enough, I’m not well prepared, etc. But now I have decided to just put all my concerns aside and jump into an adventure. I booked a flight to Japan and I’ll be leaving next week. I am also writing a blog about my experiences and it is called “Stolpern in Japan” (www.stolpern-in-japan.de) which is German for “stumbling in Japan” (the blog is also in English though). With this title I want to express the fact that the time is never perfect, but you should just start. Even if you might stumble (that is it doesn’t always go smoothly), you will certainly stumble about great experiences and learn a lot by it. So, don’t wait, just do it! 🙂
Maria
I totally get the no one to do it with bit, before my first 3 week solo trip to Europe I was so scared but I just had to I wanted to go and explore new places so I did that while all my friends went on a party holiday to Ibiza which we’d already done a couple years before and I went off on my own to Europe. I bet my 3 weeks cost less than their 1 week and I got to see and do so much more.
I then did the same going to America for 4 months to work and travel solo although I met some amazing people there the I did end up travelling with for a few weeks post the working part of the trip before I joined a great group of people on a tour trip for 3 weeks that was sponsored by intrepid
I’m so grateful that I now have a boyfriend that wants to travel right now for us that means weekend breaks due to money and jobs but it’s still great to say I want to go here and him be like yep lets go or vice versa. Currently got a trip to pickering in England where we’re from booked and Budapest just 4 days after that where i’ve already been but he’s not but I can’t wait to go back
Seda Mutlu
Hi Kristin! First of all, I really loved this article! I have not been outside of the country which I lived in, but I know there are many opportunities for me to travel to other countries and cities in Europe. Because I am studying, and the easiest way to go abroad is Erasmus program for example. However, my family is really worried about this because of the reasons that you mentioned above. That’s way, rarely I am also thinking that they are right and I can not survive alone. However, in my opinion, there are milestones in our lives and sometimes we should encourage ourselves to get sense of achievement and freedom. In a nutshell, I really enjoyed reading your article and it makes me realize how many opportunities I want to make a reality. Traveling alone seems like a great experience that I would love to make happen in the near future.
Belinda Cook
Thankyou for writing this, you are speaking my language. I have recently turned 50 and made a life altering decision. I am single and working very hard to pay off my mortgage as being homeless has always been one of my greatest fears. And now?……
I can’t wait to become homeless!
I’ve made the decision to sell my home, become debt free, save and then travel for the rest of my life!!!!
Reading articles like yours inspire me daily to stay on this path and I am so determined to make it haopen. I’ve set the date for my 56th birthday but who knows? It may even happen sooner. I hope to be travelling the world until I’m well into my 90’s! Life’s too short and there’s a whole lotta world out there that I still haven’t seen yet.
davi
I agree what about Kristin write in this article, but traveling alone I think it takes a lot of courage, especially for women. it may be safer to travel with a friend. I can’t imagine if backpaker traveling alone in another country, it might be better if traveling in private tour. a situation we still don’t know about the new place. okey, technologically we can easily find the information about the place but whether you know the information is true or lie even a trivial problem will be in bigger magnitude that seemed to be very creepy.