Confession: I’m Terrified of Flying

I feel the same way and do the same things when flying. I think a few movies and shows on tv with plane crashes did it to me. Final Destination and Cast Away are two good examples. I also found myself watching a show on what happens inside the cabin when a plane crashes. Why! Why did I do that? Ha!

I love flying but my dad was a pilot so I’m used to being in planes. My husband on the other hand hates it! I’m lucky whenever I can drag him on one.

Hahaha that sounds exactly like me! I must say though, I am better at flying “alone” than with people I know – don’t know why…

Are spying me? lol, Your experience while flying is almost the same I have, the main difference is that I’ll spend the most of the journey watching the clouds isn’t it amazing?

You’re not alone with that one buddy. I share the same feelings when it comes to flying. I have to say though that it’s rapidly getting better since i am flying multiple times a year. And unlike most people with a fear of flight, for some reason i really enjoy the landing a lot.

Damn son, it’s as if you’re inside my head during any of my trips that involve a flight or two. While I have improved over the years – work helped fly most of the fear out of me – I still get the occasional case of the jitters. What actually helped me get over my fear was watching the show “Mayday.” I get that might seem odd, but hear me out.

The first episode I watched was actually in-flight on WestJet using their satellite TV (you’d think a show like this would be blacked out). After seeing both the catastrophic ending to the flight, but the logical conclusion that explained the steps to prevent it from happening again, I found that the logic finally sunk in. A few more episodes after that and suddenly I wasn’t thinking about the plane going into a Top Gun flat spin of doom, but all the safety measures that went into making this flight as smooth as possible.

Crazy I know, but it’s what worked for me.

Thanks for the post! I grew up flying a lot because my dad was a pilot for a major airline, so there was no room for me to be scared. But I can see where sometimes it’s more than just “sucking it up”. It’s a real fear that is hard for some to overcome.

I feel less alone after reading this. I start getting bad thoughts as soon as I book flights (normally around 4 months in advance), but I’ve never spoken to a doctor about my anxiety. I take sleeping pills before flights, but I hardly get any sleep! I arrive at my destination drenched in sweat and with tears of joy.

Sometimes I try comforting myself with thoughts of my upcoming adventure, and this helps me relax. When flying back home, I think about all the photos and stories I’ll be sharing with family and friends.

I understand that this fear is irrational, but I’ve also come to accept the fact that it’s only natural to be terrified of flying.

I am exactly the same way about flying. Absolutely TERRIFIED of flying but my love of traveling and being places other than home outweighs my fear, so I just suck it up. I’m just like you, where I remind myself of the stats concerning flying versus other forms of transportation, as well as the basic physics of flight. And yes, on the one hand I get it. It’s safe, the likelihood of a crash is extremely small, etc. But on the other, sometimes realer, definitely “panicky-er” hand, AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Thanks for being another person who loves to travel but hates to fly.

Flying used to fascinates me, until a super bumpy flight on my way home from Paris. And I need to stop watching Air Crash Investigation!

Matt, I am cracking up right now. It’s like I wrote this article! Wow. Totally what I do!! Thanks for the laugh. I’m flying on Friday and will be doing all of this!!! LOL!!!

I find it hilarious when someone has a fear of flying. Hehehe. I’m actually surprised that you have a fear of flying despite traveling non-stop for 9 years.

It’s been 3 years since I rode an airplane. Can’t wait to fly again next year to my Southeast Asia trip!

I have no advice to deal with or overcome the fear of flying, but I can say that I was afraid of flying for probably 30 years. I don’t know exactly when or why it became a problem. For my first several years of flying I wasn’t afraid. Then suddenly I was. But happily, just as suddenly one day I wasn’t afraid again. So don’t assume your fear is there forever. Mine dissolved and maybe yours will too.

Getting on a plane is not the problem for me, however experiencing turbulence during the flight always freaks me out. These tips helped me learn to deal with it:

1 Next time you’re in a car pay really close attention to all the bumps and shocks you’re experiencing. Really, it’s way worse than most turbulence. Then, on your next flight, try to remember this experience.

2 I always check the map on the entertainment system to see where we are flying. If we’re flying over mountains or pass a coastline I know there’s a chance that we’ll hit turbulence so I prepare myself for it. I also always try to have a window seat for the same reason (and because the scenery is beautiful!).

Last but not least, always wear your seatbelt, even when the sign is off. I’ve learned that the hard way…

Safe travels everyone!

I have been terrified of flying for 40+ years! But, having said that, I am proud to say that I have never let it stop me from flying. I have even flown to Australia and New Zealand! The thing that helped me cope the best, was undergoing a series of sessions in which I learned relaxation therapy. This is basically another way of saying, light hypnosis. I even have a kind of mantra that I say when the turbulence is really bad. I did the sessions with a psychiatric social worker. Before having these sessions, I used to have to drink very heavily to get on any flight, even if that flight was at 6 AM in the morning! But now, I’m able to cope with either a glass of wine or a very small dose of Valium. It’s a big improvement !

Matt, have you ever done an introductory or “discovery” flight session with a flight instructor? Where I live, at least, they actually let you take off, fly the plane and even land the thing. That amazed me, yet I got SO much more insight into the dynamics of flight. As we all know, the best cure for fear is knowledge.

Here are some other fear of flying “hacks” that might help, especially others reading who might not fly much:

1) If there’s a low ceiling and you really grip over not being able to see the ground, the sky below tends to get darker in the moments before you can see land.

2) Bear in mind that there will be lots of hydraulic noises starting about 10-15 mins. before landing, especially on wide-bodies (planes with two aisles).

3) If turbulence freaks you out, sit in the middle of the plane over the wing. The caveat is remembering that you’ll hear a substantial thump followed by increase air noise when the landing gear comes down about five mins. before landing.

4) Sometimes the flight crew can be moving quickly and deliberately with a sense of urgency, especially during *unexpected* turbulence while serving meals, etc. That’s not to be confused with “freaking out”.

5) If you’re descending into cloud cover on approach, expect bumps ahead of time.

6) Watch flight tests of various airliners on YouTube to see exactly what the planes are engineered to endure. The 787 ones are particularly amazing. That one exercise really inspires confidence that the wings aren’t going to break off, etc.

All of that aside, we were on a flight from Xi’an to Kunming recently that took off six hours late at 2a and flew through turbulent weather the whole time. I couldn’t help but hope that the pilots were still wide awake up there.

Ultimately, they always seem to land the thing, don’t they?

Almost the same here Matt. Love to travel but claustrophia panic attack strikes when that plane door shuts before takeoff, as well as waiting for the door to open when we land. Heights not a problem, actually love the feeling; landing I think is more dangerous. The idea of being trapped inside a plane for hours drive me crazy; and the idea of being trapped inside a non-moving plane on the tarmac for more than 15-20 minutes equally as bad. Think about the incidents in which Jetblue had passengers trapped for hours in the aircraft without taking off. Now there is legislation for the aircraft to return to the dock if if cannot leave within 2 hours. But 30 minutes or so will do it for me! I think I’ll flip in 2 hours. I take my Xanax whenever I fly, and my wife tries to engage me in conversation to keep my mind off it. She knows the signs when I am getting into trouble. Longing to visit China, Japan, Australia, Middle East but don’t think I will fare well with flights longer than 5-6 hours. My electronics help to some extent. Thanks for sharing.

Hey Matt,

Loved reading this after finding it in my inbox today! I’m also afraid of flying and only during the takeoff and landing stages. During that time, my wife and I have to hold each other’s hands as a superstition/nerves cure. I got really nervous when flying solo back to Korea and there was no hand to hold. Luckily I made it safely but won’t take my chances anymore.

Drinking is also a good option, I agree. It also works when the earphones won’t cancel out the screaming babies that sometimes like to put on surround sound shows. Thanks for sharing this, Matt. It helped me look at my own fears while living through yours. Great post!

Oh my gosh this is perfection

Thanks for this! I’m also an extremely nervous flier. Your mental states, I can relate too… But I’m really not good until the plane has come to a near stop. A strange thing happens on many Canadian flights to tropical destinations… The minute the wheels hit the ground, the passengers start to applaud. I can’t! We’re still screaming down the runway, brakes squealing, cabin shaking, and the smell of rubber melting. My hands are firmly gripping the seat I front of me thinking, “I’m gonna die!” “Just breathe!” and “WTF are these people clapping for… We’re all gonna die!” By the time I’m sufficiently certain that I’m not going to die, the clapping has stopped, and I’m feeling guilty for not applauding the pilot and crew for keeping me alive a little longer!!!

Great post , I can’t fake it at all. I tried to focus on reading or watching movie but I end up not understanding anything. I decided to visit my doctor a week before I travel to get a prescription. I’ll take the pill an hour before boarding so by the time the plane takes off
I’m already sunk. Sometimes I missed the meal and I told my husband as long as I am breathing don’t wake me up. One pill will last me for 6 hours so in the mid of flying
I’ll take another pill that will last me until touchdown . Funny part is I’ll reach my destination feeling groggy and high. Without the pill I’ll be so anxious and my mind is traveling in a speed of light. I can relate 100% on this article. I am glad that I am not alone.

i too am terrified of flying although ive taken so many flights. It’s take off for me, i rather enjoy landing. I totally relate to your turbulence thoughts! any odd sound freaks me out big time!

This is a great article! I love to travel but flying really is anxious-laden for me. I share your fear of lack of control and unease with heights.

One trick that I use in addition to your three is I try to break the flight up into segments (15-20 minutes for a domestic flight, 30-45 minutes for international). The goal is try to stay distracted just for the segment – I watch a movie, read, chat with my traveling companion (or stranger or flight attendant) or do anything that actively engages my mind. If I can get through the segment, I do a couple minutes of reciting safety facts in my head and breathing exercises to calm myself. Then I start over! I’ve found that by organizing my flights this way, I realize that before I know it, I’m there!

Thanks again for posting – very reassuring and a reminder that fear of flying is not a reason to not travel!

Hi Matt (and any other nervous travelers)

One of the best aids to dispensing with thefear of flying is to get yourself off to the health food shop or a pharmacy that deals in complementary therapies. There, find the Bach Flower Remedy shelf and buy one each of Mimulus and Rescue Remedy. If you can get the Rescue Remedy in spray form, even better.

Up to a month before your planned flight, start to take the Mimulus. If you’re flying on short-notice, start straight away. Pop three drops straight onto your tongue or into a glass/bottle of water and sip – three times a day.

During this period, whenever you feel anxious about the idea of the flight, three drops or a spray or two of Rescue Remedy as soon as you feel it. It doesn’t matter how many times a day this happens.

About three days before the flight, take the Rescue Remedy just as you are doing the Mimulus. On the day of the flight, use the Rescue Remedy any time you feel anxious or nervous. Hopefully by this time it won’t be much!

Give this a shot. I am a qualified Flower Essence Practitioner and I’ve helped countless people where the fear of flying is concerned and this mix is extremely effective.

Matt, if you find you could still do with a bit more support having tried this, contact me and I’ll help you out FOC. You have given me plenty through your website, I’d be happy to repay the favour!

Happy flying

Richard

There are several metropolitan cities in the US where there are fearful flying classes to help you break the habit and learn new techniques. I am in Denver and there is a class held twice a year by United Airlines and the Colorado ’99’s (a women pilot organization) called Flight Without Fear. It combines education about flying, planes, how they work and the aviation industry with a Psychologist (who is also a pilot) that teaches coping mechanisms and retraining your brain. You get to visit an airplane maintenance hangar, air traffic control, and there is a group graduation flight at the end. It is an AMAZING class.

I suddenly became fearful of flying in 1999 and this class has helped me tremendously. Click on my name to go to the site or search for “Flight Without Fear Non-Profit Organization” to join the Facebook group. A new session is starting in September!

I have a fear of flying as well & it also comforts me to notice that the cabin crew are not nervous. I wonder if that anxiety will ever get better the more I fly because I’m sure you have a great many more miles under your belt than I.

Well, at least I am not the only one. I fly a lot for work, thankfully, only domestic travel is necessary. The twist to my fear of flying is that, wait for it, my little brother is a pilot for Southwest. Good news is that over the years my fear has lessened considerably. I haven’t had to dip into the Xanax for the past 6 months and that is huge. So, having my brother to talk to about my crazy fear has been very helpful. Even though he rolls his eyes at people like me, he always patiently walks me through why this or that bump happened. I also always try to fly Southwest because I imagine my brother flying the plane, which cuts out that whole stranger in the cockpit thing. I also know how much training he has had (more than you can imagine), how often he has to do check rides (a lot!), has to take tests (a lot!), how calm he is (yes, he’s the guy who comes over the speaker who sounds like he just woke up), how often he flies (up and down 5 or 6 times a day for 4 days straight every week). Bottom line, he along with all of the pilots on U.S. carriers are beyond qualified for what they do. They are tested and re-tested more than any other job I know. My brother has taken me up in smaller planes, showed me how everything works, and he has let me talk with mechanics who work on the planes (they are serviced almost every other week). If you can make friends with a pilot, your fears might lessen a bit. If not, well, there’s always Xanax. 🙂 Take that with a cocktail and you will be Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids.

Good gracious Matt….you have described me to a “T” as it pertains to flying. I frigging hate it! But, like you, I do not let it stop me and for me, I call all those wonderfully delicious little drinks, “liquid braves”! Cheers to you

My trick is to watch the flight attendants. If they aren’t concerned then I know it’s probably ok.

The more you stand to lose at land, the more you are fearful of flying in the air 🙂

I don’t remember feeling jittery about flying until a couple of years ago, I experienced very bad turbulence on a long distance flight. Subsequently, any sort of turbulence makes me feel nervous. However, the glutton in me finds it comforting when I’m served food and I usually don’t pay much attention to turbulence as long as I’m focused on eating. 😀

Omg…I hear you! On a recent flight from Chengdu to Lhasa, it was SO turbulent the entire flight, I just started howling! Balling my eyes out with my head in my hands. I was the only non-Chinese person on the plane and no one spoke a word of English to comfort me. We were flying over the Himalayas the whole flight and all I could see out the window was jagged razor sharp peaks, I knew if we went down there would be no where to make an emergency landing! To make matters worse, when you land in Lhasa the oxygen is so thin you need to preserve your breath and keep your heart rate low, but I was having a full scale panic attack, had to buy a can of oxygen at the airport and I felt weird for about 2 days. Needless to say I was very happy I was getting the train back. Won’t ever do that flight route again! One tip I have that seems to calm me is to imagine a speed boat bouncing on the water as it speeds along. People think air is ‘nothing ‘ but it IS something, and the plane is bouncing along on it just like a boat. When it gets bumpy I think of that and it makes me feel better. Lol.

I was never afraid to fly until I had my daughter. Since then getting on a plane (and travel in general has been petrifying to me). It’s a problem I’m trying to work through at the moment and explored recently in a post. I’ve just started a blog to document my travels with my 6 year old this year… I’m going to be freaking out on planes a lot!

Seriously though, really enjoyed this post, you made me giggle and I did like the hard statistics. I’m definitely irrational!

Keep up the great work, I’m a new reader and loving it here!

Hi!
This blog was very helpful, because I am going to be flying around the world in 5 days and I have awful flying anxiety. The tips about Fake it until you make it sounds very helpful, but definitely the most helpful tip I think for me is the Say the Facts because it will let my brain work through the science and math that I most likely will be just fine. Hopefully these tips works! Thanks!
Jess

I’m scared to fly but manage some times to fly. It’s more easy to fly with my girlfriend as she feels no fear at all.
This may sound funny but it’s now almost 19 years in work for an airline.
Knowing others feel the same way. Makes me feel less bad of me. More normal.
I also keep saying :no plane has fallen from turbulence.

Last flight I was flying from Miami in business class and I had a panicked attack. I though we were going to crash. All this to a combination of turbulence and the last estate star wars movie. All those flashes made my mind go hay wire.
I finaly had help. from nurses on board and a doctor. They gave me a Ativan and it went away and it calmed me down.
As I continued my flight to my airport.
I felt bad. But still made it. The worst is I kept telling myself. U know u will land safe. U see hundreds of u get sleeve and return every week .
Its there the phobia .
Heights and fear of crash.
My favorites part ironically are take off and landing .
I mostly panick at cruise speed with turbulence !
Ativans on my wallet for next trip for sure.

Omg this is exactly how i feel. I didn’t use to be afraid, so I don’t know what changed. As I’m getting closer to fly in October, i’m getting anxious and then another plane crashed 2 days ago. It just keeps making more afraid. I think I will follow your tips and get some wine.

Liz
I am 5 days away from travelling overseas..13hours to get me to Dubai and then another 5 hours to Athens Greece!
I am terrified! I have to tolerate my fear for 13 hours…no that’s not quite right the fear has started already!
When we hit turbulence and the pilot says “fasten seat belts” babies out of cots, stop serving food, all cabin crew be seated! I’m history..I count, yes just count until the terror passes..counting gives me something to think about as well as reassure me that there is a number that I will reach when the bumping will stop.. 4,096 was the longest I ever counted!
I don’t eat or sleep on a plane, I don’t listen to music I don’t watch movies, I can’t see how anyone can. I am too busy watching everything including cabin crew. I listed to every little sound, every changing sound….I follow the plane path on the screen for 13 hours.
Yes I take pills to take the edge off and drink heaps!
I am a fit health conscious person, I hate taking pills but when flying I make an exception.
Would not want my fear of flying to stop me exploring this beautiful world we live in so I book flights, take pills and drink alcohol… Wish me luck I’m off again!

I used to be thrilled when flying. Absolutely loved it. Totally fascinated. Cotton wool clouds… sunsets, sunrises – just incredible. Last few occasions (and it always seems to be the return flight)… absolute terror over the turbulence and the “moving about” to get a landing position. The turbulence might only have been little bubbles or bumps but I truly thought I was going to die.

I decided I’m just not going to do it. Not again. (whether my fear is irrational or can be overcome or not).

Some places I want to see though…. “the man in seat 61″.. well that might be me. I’ll take a train. I’ll probably be scared of that too!

I might just suck it up and just fly. I want to go to Fiji. Bless all you brave travellers!

hi everyone.

I’m considering cancelling my flight to india with my friends – its 2 months away, but i’m not sure if i can handle the anxiety until I go.

I’ve booked in to see a doctor who will be able to refer me onto a therapist, who hopefully will specialise in treating flight phobias.

I did learn something recently that might be useful though – the plane only needs one engine to land – so if one engine goes (in the very unlikely event that this happens), the plane can divert to the nearest airport safely. This helps my fear – which is that somehow the engines will stop working, and the plane will fall out of the sky.

Well, it\’s started….first flight booked ( not even an hour ago) in 5yrs to leave in 2 weeks & already I\’m \’ googling\’ . My husband who is a private pilot says it\’s a fear of dying, NOT flying. Yup he\’s got that right, I suspect most of us who are feeling this way are also secret control freaks….think about that one….

So! What I\’m planning on focusing on is this ( in no particular order)

1) it\’s a good job the captain is flying not me, cause that would be a disaster, so I can quit believing that it\’d perhaps be better if I was in control of my own destiny.

2) a scary thought is just a thought – NOT reality – thoughts are not \’ real\’ they\’re really not – show me one?

3) I chose to be here….If today my number should be up, well sod it, at least I was brave enough to face my fear on my last day.

4) tell myself it\’s NOT my last day, why on earth would it be for heavens sake?!

5) practice Mindfulness ( great app Get some Headspace )

6) If I feel tearful & visualise myself running down the aisle screaming \’ we are all going to die\’ -pop a xanax swiftly ( but seriously like I would draw attention to myself like that, refer myself back to stage 2)

7) Quit worrying, it\’s a wasted emotion – accept to serve as a timely warning, when we get super anxious we just have a greater capacity in this emotion, it\’s no more than what anyone on the plane thinks, except they dismiss these thoughts for what they are; a thought.

8) If I do panic – don\’t try to sit on it, invite it to the party, anxiety hates being made welcome

9) IF something WE\’RE to go wrong….give my husband full permission to knock me out – I mean, if we\’re going to crash, seriously I wouldn\’t want to experience it, Im practical like that. Tip to solo travellers; Gal\’s sit next to a big guy , Guy\’s sit next a bigger guy and put in your request ( so long as it\’s certain there is trouble ahead ?)

And FINALLY…….Vodka, yes, there is always vodka.

Bravo to all of you who are undertaking to fly whilst being so afraid, that my dears is the meaning of TRUE courage and we merit a lot praise.

I used to be an international student so I always flew back and forth from Edmonton – Canada to Guayaquil – Ecuador (home). I never really had a problem until 2012 when I experienced rough turbulence. Ever since I have a phobia of flying and I hate planes. My fear has only gotten worse; it seems like everytime I fly now theres turbulence. The worst experience I had was 2015 going from Ecuador to Panama. The plane literally plummeted a couple thousand feet and that completely put me through the edge and I had a horrible panic attack! My doctor gave me a prescription for ativan but it doesn\’t work.. and not every flight has alcohol so I\’m really having a hard time coping 🙁 I fly tomorrow to Orlando from Edmonton and I\’m extremely nervous.. I\’m flying on a CRJ900 and I\’m scared I don\’t know what to expect. I don\’t mind mild turbulence, I just don\’t want to experience any rough turbulence ever again.

I have flown all my life. As a child I thought it was fun because the adults made sure we had toys and candy and I was high up- like in a roller coaster. As an adult that sparkle diminished but I can’t say I was ever scared. That is until this new trip I am taking next month. I’m flying to Europe. I can’t put my finger on why I’m scared this time but I am. Maybe its being over the ocean for so long? Maybe it has to do with the show “Mayday” that for some reason my room mate has found and is binge watching every damn day!! I just don’t know…but I will try some booze and try to distract myself.

Oh My goodness!
I just stumbled upon your blog while searching about how to cope with that fear of flying and, I honestly can’t believe how much I have laughed. You have such sense of humour. Honestly, I laughed so hard because, when I am traveling, I am often having the same thoughts, so now I know I am not alone out there. lol. Of course, I know many people are afraid of flying, but have never heard (or read) someone to talk about it in such a clever way. Thank you so much for this post! Excellent indeed.