Updated: 02/03/2020 | February 3rd, 2020
One of the things travel forces you to confront your judgments and perception of people.
Last year, I came across some bohemian art folks on the web. They liked my site, their art was cool, and they were very down-to-earth people.
We developed a steady online friendship, but their lifestyle is totally different from mine.
There is nothing too extraordinary about my social life. Overall, my social habits are pretty mainstream. I watch movies, go to the gym, watch Netflix, work, and go to yuppie cocktail bars.
But these folks went to alternative festivals like Burning Man and Lightning in a Bottle. They are really into erotic art. They have a lot of piercings and tattoos. Some of them live in modern communes. They are vegan. (I can’t live without bacon.)
In short, they are the exact opposite of my normal social network.
To me, travel isn’t just about visiting different places. I don’t often care where I visit. Yes, I love exploring certain parts of the world, but what I really want to explore is life on this planet. I want to know how cultures fit together, why people think and act the way they do, and how seven billion of us fit into this world. Yes, I want to see Paris and lie on beaches in Thailand, but what I really want to know is why the French love to riot, why the Italians put up with corruption, why I will always be gaijin in Japan, and why the Thais seem to only express emotion in two forms: happiness or anger. (If you lived in Thailand, you would understand that last point.)
When you live in the travel bubble, getting along is easy. There’s just the fun you are having right now. You can be whoever you want to be and if some people don’t like it, you know they are probably leaving soon anyway.
The real world is different. You’re thinking about all the things you have to do. You have bills to pay. Responsibilities. Jobs. Commutes. Things to worry about. You aren’t on the move anymore, rather you are now firmly planted in one place, building a life.
When the opportunity arose to go and visit these friends in Reno, Nevada, I jumped at the chance to experience something different. So I went there with a lot of curiosity and a very open mind. Whatever they threw at me, I was going to take. Reno was all about new experiences, and I was looking forward to learning a thing or two.
We went to a techno concert that was vaguely reminiscent of Burning Man on my first night there. I hung out with people with blue hair and weird get-ups. There were a lot of neon lights, a lot of drugs, and a lot of just way-out-there stuff.
I spoke to a guy who talked a lot about his sex shop and about exploring “things” with his wife.
I met hippies who grew pot.
I met lots of raw-food folks or vegans.
There was a lot of talk about energy and love. (And even a woman who claimed to be an alien.)
My hosts ran an erotic art site.
I found it all weird.
Very weird.
But at the same time very, very interesting, even if I couldn’t always relate.
But you know what? I had a great time. Everyone was very nice and friendly. They were genuinely interested in what I do. They loved the fact that I was living my life on my own terms, and I really loved the fact they were too. I like people who follow their dreams. They welcomed me into their circle, they made me brownies, they invited me back for Thanksgiving. We shared a love for music, life, and a passion for True Blood.
One thing I’ve learned in my four years of traveling around the world is that people are essentially the same. Whether a person is American, Australian, Japanese, Thai, or Uzbek, people want the same thing: to be happy, be safe, have friends, do what they want, and enjoy life.
At home, we judge people right away. By their dress, their phone, their style, their posture. We see the Goth going down the street and think “weirdo.” We see kids skating in parks and think “punk.” We see white guys in dreads and think “hippy.” We gravitate to people like us and rarely venture outside our homogenous social circle.
I admit that I judge people. I even made judgments about the folks in Reno before I went. But I went because I wanted to go to learn not to make judgments. And while I won’t be moving to a commune or going raw anytime soon, what Reno taught me was that the old adage about judging a book couldn’t be a truer statement if it tried.
When you are on the road, you hang with all types of people. Your desire to make friends trumps everything. You don’t know people’s history or past. You don’t know what “group” people fall into. That forces you to expand your mind, tear down your barriers, and toss out your judgments.
If I had simply stuck to my “real world” worldview, I never would have gone to Reno. I would never have met such great people. I would never have exposed myself to new ideas and ways of life. Travel is about breaking out of your comfort zone and testing your boundaries. For some people, that might simply be walking on a plane to go somewhere, or bungy jumping, or, for me, embracing a way of life outside my own.
Breaking out of your comfort zone is one of the best ways to learn about the world.
And Reno was a good reminder that that learning doesn’t just mean knowing people from foreign lands. It can also mean just learning about people with different tastes than you.
Because everything – and everyone – has something to teach you.
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Photo credit: 1 – BLM Nevada
georgette
yay!
keep falling down the rabbit hole with us, it continues to get deeper and more magical by the moment 😉
it was such a pleasure spending time with you love, hope to cross paths again either in reno or beyond.
thank you for breaking out of your normal to come and hang with our normal lol
xoxo
georgette
Vero
Very good post! Very wise insight about how all people are essentially the same!
NomadicMatt
Thank you!
Gillian
“Travel is about breaking out of your comfort zone and testing your boundaries. Maybe that is simply walking on a plane for people, or doing a bungy jump, or simply embracing a way of life outside your own.”
I like this part the best…I don’t expect people to challenge themselves in the same way I do…but I do hope that people challenge themselves, whatever that looks like.
Kristina Luna
The ultimate test, though, is whether or not they can get you to participate in erotic art AT Burning Man…then you know you’ve arrived! (Spoken by the girl who’s personal Hell is to be hot and dusty in a desert for 10 days, surrounded by people high out of their minds!)
NomadicMatt
I would love to go to Burning Man….erotic art? probably not though.
Rob
It’s very hard to not be judgemental, but it is nice to have your own judgements squashed by people being nice. I was walking around my local town in Japan the other day and light was falling. These 2 aggressive looking guys were walking up to me eyeing me up and looking rather shifty.
What did they do? They said ‘Hello, nice to meet you’. In a quick attempt to show off their English skills.
But it is so true, whether you’re talking to a small African tribal village or one of the richest guys in the world. Ultimately they are all happy with a roof over their heads, food in their belly and some love.
Bethany
sounds fun! I’ve been meeting a lot of ‘erotic’ people too, it’s kind of an interesting sub-culture that has popped up with other people i know. At first it does seem a bit weird but hey whatever makes people happy, I guess! It’s also fun and usually really positive to step out of your comfort zone even if it is tough at first.
NomadicMatt
My view on life is different strokes, for different folks
Marina K. Villatoro
As I have always said the best part of traveling is meeting people. 🙂
Andi
That’s great that despite pre-judging these people you still went with an open mind and had a lovely time! They definitely sound like interesting characters. 🙂
NomadicMatt
They were very interesting and totally amazing.
Danielle
Bravo, my friend, bravo. I completely agree 🙂
NomadicMatt
Thanks! He was pretty interesting lol
Cailin
Great post Matt 🙂 I love everything about it!
Bex
So true. Backpacking is all about getting OUT of the normal way of life. New people. New experiences. New adventures. A single night at the full moon party in Thailand can surely get someone out of the “zone”. Overall great post!
Jim
Your site is awesome! Way to go Bex!
Jennifer Roche
I love your blogs. I am twice your age but I feel exactly as you do about the world. I plan to travel around Turkey in the year I turn 50. I spent my young years raising my family and being responsible. This is my time now and I plan to use it learing about the world and its inhabitants. I still have to work of course so my travels are short except for Turkey which I plan about 5 weeks. 3 there and 2 to travel back across eastern europe and then home to Ireland. Thanks for all the info you share. Happy travelling
Michael Robert Powell
Greetings from China … welcome to the counterculture / bohemian / alternative to the typical Western lifestyle; this is also my world, since teenage days, except that being on the road – since 1988, I have lost touch with this side of the West … But those early Goa-trance parties in India were great, back in 1990 ! Maybe one day, I’ll finally get to the States, to do the underground scene and festivals …
Regards MRP – Psychedelic Travel Artist | the candy trail … a nomad across the planet, since 1988
Michael Robert Powell
Greetings from China … welcome to the counterculture / bohemian / alternative to the typical Western lifestyle; this is also my world, since teenage days, except that being on the road – since 1988, I have lost touch with this side of the West … But those early Goa-trance parties in India were great, back in 1990 ! Maybe one day, I’ll finally get to the States, to do the underground scene and festivals …
Regards MRP – Psychedelic Travel Artist | the candy trail … a nomad across the planet, since 1988
And yes: People are People, world over …
Kirsty
Not being judgemental is definately something I am learning not to do as much now I am on the road. Back at home I had so many sterotypes, just like you said when walking down the street see someone dressed a bit werid with glasses, think geek etc.
Now we’ve got a shared interest, travelling I am meeting all types of people and realising they are just like us. This is one of the things I love about travelling!
Jack
Great post. Though breaking through your closely held prejudices isn’t limited to traveling, or backpacking, or anything else. It can be simply a part of life by living a life that’s considered.
Travel is just the start of that journey. It can end anywhere.
Dina
Great post, Matt. Married to a person from different culture, I’m fascinated with how different point of view, our 2 cultures can give about a topic. It makes me curious how about other cultures in the world. Before this, sometimes I regard unusual things as “weird”, but now, I’m more into asking to myself, why are they doing/thinking/behaving differently.
May
I know the folks very well that you stayed with here in Reno (born & raised) and I wish you would have stepped out of their circle.
“Modern communes”? Really? Doesn’t that sound like they’re making everyone drink the Kool-Aid? Roommates, or even house mates, would describe them.
One electronica show is not a rave … especially one held at the showroom in a casino that ended at midnight.
Also, their roller coaster yo-yo dieting on raw food is silly, to say the least.
That specific social circle puts on a facade to appear more “interesting” to others.
There is much more to Reno besides their cheap erotica website they push down everyone’s throat, sex, love and energy (or as they like to call it: “bliss”); vegans, and drugs…
denny
You say you’re a true backpacker, but when you stay in one place, you like to party and spend some big bucks! Well Honey, let me clue you in on a secret, if you were a true packer, you wouldn’t have all that money to spend. You are a phoney, sweetheart!
ayngelina
Who would want to live without bacon…or cheese?
Sorry vegans, I love you but you’re missing out!
NomadicMatt
I don’t know!
Marie
And NEVER ever give up! We have only one life 🙂
Andrew
Do what you love!!! No fear!
Sara Cayouette
I am a firm believer in breaking outside your comfort zone is what makes the travel become an experience! Great points about getting to know the locals. You’re right in that the natives of a location help understand the lifestyle in which they live.