If you’re not from North America, you may not understand the “politeness” being discussed here. Obviously some of the “politeness” coming from businesses is false and done for the sake of money, but it wouldn’t be done if it didn’t make a difference. Businesses adopt policies of that nature because they want to blend in with the culture in order to gain more customers and therefore make more money. It’s not like it’s a vast, corporate conspiracy that has altered the entire culture of North America; it actually comes from somewhere. Also, just because some businesses are superficial doesn’t mean all North American individuals are.

Everybody is different. Some of us may never ask “How are you?” unless we’re willing to listen (maybe because we’re genuinely that friendly and open with strangers, or because the person being asked is close). It’s true that, in some cases, people will say they’re doing well even if that’s not the case, but oftentimes it’s said in a revealing tone. It wouldn’t be abnormal for a follow-up question to be asked regarding that tone.

We don’t often give long answers because we acknowledge that we’re all on-the-move. Giving a long answer would be like stealing someone else’s time away, forcing them into a position where they have to decide to either put off what they were going to do or rudely interrupt. So if we don’t have the time for any type of answer, why bother asking at all? Because many of us actually do care, but, at the same time, short answers will suffice. “How are you?” means exactly that. It doesn’t mean “How are you, what brought you to that state, and what are you plans for it?” If we’re curious about that, we can ask additional questions.

Even if the asker doesn’t care about the answer, questions like “How are you?” function like greetings that are very similar to saying something like “Hey.” However, they carry additional meaning. Whether or not the individual who asks it actually wants to be given an answer, it’s a demonstration of politeness. It’s just the standard here. It may be an anachronism (like so many other aspects of cultures), but doing otherwise unavoidably demonstrates impoliteness. It’s not that we’re always trying to be polite; sometimes we’re just afraid of being impolite. This may seem like a lot of pointless nonsense, but, first of all, that’s what a lot of culture is. Second of all, if we want to be impolite (for whatever reason), it’s as simple as omitting these pleasantries.

rambling around in Asia vs rambling around in Europe
rambling around in Europe vs rambling around South America

in that case it pays to have more money.

We all know the Manhattan below 96th st would be rate the highest in all 4 of these (quite arbitrary) categories with the largest english-speaking sample.

NYC aint America. But if you are looking for these 4 categories look no further than huge, global centers of art, natural beauty + commerce…SF, London, Tokyo, Miami, Barcelona…but all these will be more specific than NYC in their traits.

“It is difficult to generalize about Americans and facial expressiveness because of individual and ethnic differences in the United States. People from certain ethnic backgrounds in the United States tend to more facially expressive than others. The key, is to try not to judge people whose ways of showing emotions are different. If we judge according to our own cultural norms, we may make the mistake of “reading’ the other person incorrectly.”

“Facial expressions carry meaning that is determined by situations and relationships. For instance, in American culture the smile is typically an expression of pleasure. Yet it also has other functions. A woman’s smile at a police officer does not carry the same meaning as the smile she gives to a young child. A smile may show affection, convey politeness, or disguise true feelings. For example many people in Russia consider smiling at strangers in public to be unusual and even suspicious behavior. Yet many Americans smile freely at strangers in public places (although this is less common in big cities). Some Russians believe that Americans smile in the wrong places; some Americans believe that Russians don’t smile enough. In Southeast Asian cultures, a smile is frequently used to cover emotional pain or embarrassment.”

“Culture does not always determine the message of nonverbal communication. The individual’s personality, the context, and the relationship also influence its meaning. However, like verbal language, nonverbal language is linked to person’s cultural background. People are generally comfortable with others who have “body language” similar to their own. One research study demonstrated that when British graduate students imitated some Arab patterns of nonverbal behavior (making increased eye contact, smiling, and directly facing their Arab partners), the Arabs felt that these students were more likeable and trustworthy than most of the other British students.”

“For Americans, the usual distance in social conversation ranges from about an arm’s length to four feet. Less space in the American culture may be associated with either greater intimacy or aggressive behavior. The common practice of saying “Excuse me,” for the slightest accidental touching of another person reveals how uncomfortable Americans are if people get too close. Thus, a person whose “space” has been intruded upon by another may feel threatened and react defensively. In cultures where close physical contact is acceptable and even desirable, Americans may be perceived as cold and distant.”

- Efficiency! I hate to generalize here, but from my experience, French people are much more concerned about when they get to take their next smoke break than helping you out. Example: I wanted to borrow a key for the study room in my student residence, and the receptionist-lady was smoking and told me she’d get it for me as soon as she was done her cigarette. I was absolutely stunned.

- NO SMOKING LAWS. Even though France is slightly better than countries such as Austria or Czech Republic, where you can smoke INSIDE bars/restaurants, I still seem to run into people smoking left, right and center. And although they go “outside” to do it, they’re normally only about 4 feet from a doorway, so you end up walking through a cloud of smoke anyhow.

Anyways, I too love Europe, I think it’s more cultured, more interesting and less “go go go.” But from my experience it’s not somewhere I would ever want to live permanently – I’ve come to realize I like how things are done at home

I would also write “racism” on the list of things I do not like about Europe. I did not notice it at first (and I have heard things are better in England than they are here), but Scandinavia is an extremely racist place to live. I am in a mixed-race relationship, and I have seen first-hand how people of color get treated here (Asian engineers unable to work as anything but taxi drivers, people repeatedly referred to by stereotypes- even on TV and radio, racist jokes on TV with absolutely no backlash from the general public, racist billboards for national soccer competitions, you name it.)

http://www.thelocal.se/1528/20050601/

I am here to study. I am a Swedish citizen now, but my fiancé and I are leaving for the USA as soon as I am done with my degree. We might even leave early.