When I met people and tell them about what I do or how long I have been traveling, their response is usually “wow! That is so awesome! You’re so lucky! I wish I could do something like that!” or some variation. To most people, my job is the best job in the world. I get paid to travel. And who wouldn’t want to get paid to travel the world? But people only see that side of it. After awhile, you get tired of explaining what you do and now I rarely ever mention it when I met people. My lifestyle is not all glitter and gold. When I started my blog, my goal to become a travel writer. I wanted my name in guidebooks. Then I interviewed guidebook authors and quickly realized their job was not the idealized version I had in my head.
The same can be said about long term travel. There are many great things about travel. But long term travel presents you with a lonely existence sometimes. I once asked if you could travel for too long. Two or three years of constant, always on the move travel can wear down a person. It’s not that you can only travel for two years and never again, it’s that you can only be on the move for so long before you long for something like roots. Travel offers people the chance to see new places, experience new cultures, make new friends, and learn about yourself. But whether you are on a 6 month, 1 year, 2 year, or open ended trip, there are downsides.
For starters, relationships are ephemeral. I have said more good byes in three years than anyone should say in their lifetime. I recently traveled with a Canadian girl who said to me “you must be used to goodbyes by now huh?” And she was right. One of the best things about traveling is all the people you meet. One of the worst things about traveling is all the people you meet. After years of hellos and goodbyes, you can get numb to it. Sometimes I just don’t want to meet anyone. Because, despite the best intentions and Facebook, you know that 90% of the people you say goodbye too, you’ll never see again. Your life is filled with 24 hour friends, who made that brief time great, but are gone. Who wants a life filled with that?
Secondly, it makes having a relationship with the opposite sex extremely hard. It’s hard to find love on the road. It does happen. But relationships tend to last as long as you are both traveling together or as long as you are staying in one city. I haven’t had a girlfriend for longer than three months in years. I’d love to have one for longer but I’m always on the move. The reality is, just like with friendships, relationships are hard and harder when you know you are leaving in just a short time.
Finally, you get tired. Real tired. Of traveling. After awhile, everything becomes just another “one of”. That 100th church, 100th waterfall, 40th hostel, 600th bar…it’s not the same anymore. It loses its charm and luster. Travel becomes unexciting. Ask any traveler and at some point, they hit that spot where they are sick of traveling. They just need a few days or weeks to recharge their batteries. After three years, I move a lot slower than I used too. I’m in no rush now. If I want to spend 12 hours out sightseeing, I can but I tend to be out for a few hours and just relax the rest of the time. After all, I’ll be wherever I am for awhile. Slow travel is better travel and it fights “the just another” syndrome. But even still, travel can become exhausting and there are times you never want to see anything with the word “historic” ever again.
Long term travel takes a certain type of person. You need to be independent and you need to be able to deal with constant change. But how many goodbyes can you say? How often can you have 24 hour friends? How long can you go without a steady relationship? How long can you move without having a home? These are questions I wonder about. Eventually, I’ll find out. I don’t think people can move forever unless they are trying to escape something. I’m just trying to see things. I have another two years of travel planned before I become semi-nomadic matt. Two years is a long time to really know anything.
But I do know that these negatives are like snowballs. They start out small but get bigger and bigger the longer you travel. And, I think eventually, they roll over us all.
I definitely know what you mean with the 24 hour friends. I just spent 4 months in Australia and New Zealand and there were times where I didn’t want to put the effort in to meet people if I was leaving the next day. I didn’t think 4 months would be a long time but it was enough to start to wear sometimes. That said, I was home and starting to recharge before I was sick of it.
Thanks for the thought-provoking piece, Matt. I know long-term travel isn’t all it’s cut out to be, and yet there is something about it that is very appealing. Thank you for putting it into a more grounded and realistic perspective.
So true. I can feel it even with our little amount of travel (comparing to you). I think it’s in the human nature, we get easily tired of anything. We need varation but also time in between all the sights to melt it all.
Regarding relationship and travel: you need to find a love that shares your love for travel
I got it and I’m sooooo grateful. It’s simply wonderful in several aspects. I got someone to share all the things I meet, the good, the bad and the ugly… plus the goodbyes don’t affect you as badly.
Slow travel is definitely the best way. We would love to go RTW for the rest of our lives, staying at one place as long as we feel that we have something to get or give to that place! But, we need some more money to do that, we’re not interested in doing that on the lowest backpacking level…. (We’re too old for that
Maybe it will just stay as a dream. We’re doing some kind of slow travel with our trips now and we’re planning to maybe get away over the winters in the future too, maybe it’s enough – after reading your post….
Wow.
I’m tempted to go travelling, but there is some harsh realities right there. The relationships isn’t a problem (haven’t had a girlfriend in 2 years), but the friendship thing can drag. I felt that on my last trip to Japan whereby I said goodbye to a few good people, but I don’t know. I’ve become good friends with people I travelled with when I was just starting out, though I don’t even automatically add people to facebook when I’m travelling now, even if we spend weeks together. Also, what do you say? “Goodbye?”. Seems very final. I prefer safe travels
.
My jump into a nomadic lifestyle is really just a working holiday in Australia, so I will be in one place for a year. Would that make it harder saying goodbye at the end? Or easier?
So many questions, all I know is I can’t wait to answer them!
True words, Matt. I wrote a while back about it. Called it travel fatigue. I ended up staying for a couple months in just one place, hanging out with the long-timers in Palolem, India. Sounds like you need to stay somewhere a bit longer. Feeling with you, mate!
Take care,
Boris
that is your best article so far.
I can confirm that. It does wear off to be excited to see new places. when i was on the move, that was the reason why i decided not to see some places, but instead “safe them for later”.
on sad thing i found out is that the feeling does not come back. you get used to travel lifestyle. it’s hard to get flashed by an amazing beach after you have seen 100.
the good thing tho is that meeting people will always be exciting and never wears off. if i ever plan another long trip again, i will spend like 3 month in a place and really dive deep into it. it’s not about collecting countries, cities and places in your travel log. It’s more about your feeling, let yourself drift and stay as long as you feel.
So it’s up to you. if you feel you wear off, skip the sights, they don’t matter, try to find more contact to locals. either expat locals or local locals, slow down, plan to see less places and stay longer. it really makes a difference imho.
I see what you mean. There is always a back side to everything. But does this mean you advice against long term traveling?
For us it has been great, it has had life changing qualities and that is why we want to encourage more people to take the opportunity to travel long term on our blog http://www.extendedworldtravel.com . We see so many benefits.
We have traveled as a family and in that sense we haven’t been lonely, we’ve always had each other. And there are also lots of couples who travel together, so I am sure it can work. Maybe you have just been unlucky? And we still have many friends who we’ve met on our journeys. Some we’ve visited again, some we will visit and some have visited us in our home.
But yes we have still had a place that we call home and that we’ve been able to return to. That comfort I think has meant a lot to us.
Hi Matt
This article is a timely read – just as I am contemplating whether I should leave everything behind and go solo travelling next year. I’ve had to ask myself : do I really have what it takes, and what are my motivations? Am I chasing something (to do list) or running away from something (demons past)? I think I’ll stick to travel in small chunks for now, will decide on the big one when I am very sure and well-prepared. Safe travels, A
Interesting reading. I have yet to travel long term, but the traveling I have done tends to make me want to go back to the place and dig in deeper. For example, live a couple months in Thailand while dive training. Or surf and lean Spanish in Nicaragua. Do you think this slower kind of travel would lessen the effects you describe above, or would the loneliness? I’m really curious as I am still trying to sort out my ideal lifestyle. Finding a girl to travel with would be amazing, but it’s hard for a lot of people to be able to just get up and go.
You’ve been traveling longer than me, and I know what you’re feeling
Love this post Matt. I am heading home in just three days after 11 months on the road and find that the weariness you speak of set in about a month ago. Though I plan to head out again, I do need to recharge the batteries for a while
Everything you talk about though is just spot-on 
So poignant. People often ask us what the hardest part of long term travel is, and I point to the community aspects. I do miss having a constant rooted community – the group of friends you can call on a whim and have a movie night planned for that evening.
But for now, the different style of spread out community works well for me. We seem to have become more nomadic, as opposed to vagabonds – in that we have several communities in different locations that we rove between. Putting the energy into developing several home bases – places where we pull in, stay a while and have people we consider our community around, has paid off big time. We know when we leave, that we’ll be back at some point. It’s not a good bye, but an ‘until next time’. And we’re driven to return for both the place and the community. Being at a home base, as opposed to visiting different places along the way – definitely has a different feel for me. Love them both, and for now – loving that I can have both.
As far as finding love on the road – it can happen. My partner Chris started out solo, and we met in the course of his travels and my starting to explore a more location independent lifestyle. It became quickly evident that our adventures could be meshed together. Traveling with a partner has been amazing for us, and we’re now entering 2.5 years of travel together.
– Cherie
Hi Cherie, I love this Idea. It is definitely a lifestyle I am working towards. Tell me, do you live between different countries? or different places i the same country?
Hi Emma..
Currently, we’re traveling around our home country of the USA. We’ve found that domestic nomadism has some definite benefits that both feed our wanderlust and give us the community aspects we crave.
In the future, we’ll likely return to including more global travel. For now.. it works for us.
– Cherie
Yes, you meet a lot of people traveling and most you won’t stay in touch with, but it’s a cool feeling to know you have a global network of travel friends. For example, Facebook updates showed me recently that the friend I traveled with the longest last year (8 weeks) had finally landed in the western US. I immediately invited him to stay with me near Washington DC. Someday I’d hope to visit him in London or wherever he comes to a halt.
And just this morning I received a FB message from a German girl I spent Christmas Eve with 2 years ago in Queenstown. I missed visiting her when I was in Europe, but staying on one and other’s radars has helped make a meeting possible after all, in my hometown of all places.
After 15 months of continuous travel, I needed a break from the typical hostel conversations and shenanigans. And sightseeing. And referencing guidebooks. I found living abroad (in Colombia) was a great compromise – I could establish routines and relationships, but do it all while exploring a new culture.
To travel is great, but do you not appreciate the times when you come back, or do you not experience a particular place as your home ?
Nice post matt.
I remember hitting about 16-18 months on the road… and I worked out that ideally, for me, 4 months would probably be the perfect length of time.
Although I wouldn’t change a thing i had an amazing 22 months!
Paul @
TravMonkey.com
Great post – very realistic. Me thinks you’re feeling the squeeze these days??? (smiles)
This is in part why I choose to travel slowly (really slowly at times); if I don’t have anywhere to be for a while, I may as well take my time; I’ll stand a better chance of creating memories on 30 beaches rather than just visiting 100 beaches.
Hi Matt.
Excellent blog. Im also keen to stress when I go travelling and I meet people or even when I return to tell the tale that not everything about backpacking is peaches and cream.
The worst aspect for me is something you touch upon. Having now spent the best part of 4 years travelling or saving for travelling it has ruined quite a few of my friendships that I had before I started. By no means have people stopped talking to me, but Im either never there, or cant guarantee anything long term or like right now very close to a big trip can never really afford to nip out for the odd big night out with the lads or trip away for the weekend.. It wears on other people not just yourself and in the end becomes a strain on the friendship.
I am acutely aware that when I come to the end of this cycle I will be left with very few good friends to count upon on a everyday basis and lots of close friends scattered around the world whom I will never see.
I agree, it adds up over time. Slowing down the rate of traveling helps I think but it comes and goes in waves.
Sometimes I miss not having an address…
Awesome post Matt.
This is one of those “the grass is always greener on the other side moments.” Your life looks exciting and exotic, but constant anything gets boring over time.
Another excellent post Matt
(You can see I’m catching up on RSS feeds due to my own travels 
This is a realization I also made after my first 2 or 3 years, and I totally understand your plans to later-on become “semi-nomadic” Matt. This is especially true in periods like your current fast change of scenery. That can get extremely tiring.
After plenty of experimentation, I’ve found that 3 months per city is enough to allow me to get into routines, have meaningful friendships, get to know the local culture and city quite well, and yet still feel like a nomad. This new timing has worked out excellent for me and although life in general can throw plenty of problems your way, and is far from the non-stop Indiana Jones adventure people would have you believe it is, I am no longer jaded about travel itself, and could keep this up for quite a while (I plan to continue much longer than 2 years for example).
It can be frustrating that people think you have a perfect life with no problems whatsoever, but that’s typical for any desirable job; Hollywood actors, rockstars and anyone else you would imagine to have the “best job ever” also have their problems I’m sure. I tell people that I am very happy with my life and travels, but be realistic and tell them that nobody in the world is safe from boredom
Totally agree. Good insight. I’m on year 3 and I think the think that bothers me the most is the fact that I have no ‘home’. Even when I go to my home country I have to sleep on friend’s floors; ok in your twenties – but I”m about 40! Regardless – I’m not ready to change anything yet!
Good article, as usual, and an interesting topic. My husband and I spent 3 years traveling when we were in our 30s (20 yrs ago) and used it as a way to change our lives. We were both very happy to settle down after – in a new country and a new way of working (self-employed). After about 5 years we started traveling to Europe again, doing a 2 – 3 month trip most years, and this worked well for us. But after 10 years of that, we too became bored with seeing tourist sites and museums – now we just go back to places we love to hang out and do hiking/walking. Travel changes you and as you travel more, the way you travel changes.
Great post, Matt! I too was on the road for three years… I had a slightly different experience with friends. This was in pre-Facebook days and we still communicated by poste restante, and the occasional email (still a very new thing). I enjoyed the newness of making friends all the time and I can’t say that bothered me.
What DID bother me was the lack of a place to call home. Before I left I packed everything into boxes and stowed my life away. If I were leaving for a lengthy trip again I think I’d chunk down my travels – one year out, three months back in type of thing, and find a way to keep a home base.
I too felt travel burnout at times – most people do – but it passed. The longing for a home base never did.
the novelty surely does wear off after a while but once you stop you’re yearning to travel more – well at least I am!
I travel solo in my RV and love it! My love of traveling around the country by myself came from years of travel in my job. I love the freedom of it. And having an RV makes it even better, I can just “park it” where I want, and not worry too much about hotels. I have recently started volunteering in my RV, and volunteer opportunities can be from 1 month to 6 months. I prefer one month at a time assignments, but recently completed a 2 month assignment in Kentucky. I currently have a “home base” and find that this arrangemenbt keeps me from getting “travel burnout.” The problem I have is…. I DON’T WANT TO GO HOME!!! I hate going home!
Holy smokes, check out all the comments on this post! Matt you definitely found a wound to poke here, seems everyone here can relate to this numb feeling you receive after lengthy travels. I too can relate.One thing I find is that by trading in the 9 to 5 lifestyle, we as humans need to find something to complain about,. When you’re pullin 10 hour days for a couple months, all you can think is:
-”I hate routines, i need to get out of this, get on the road”, then after being on the road for a while, and routine has kicked in there, we start thinkin
-”ugh, I just want a couch to call my own and catch up on some TV, perhaps score me one of them girlfriends/boyfriends I hear so much about”
It’s the classic winter/summer scenario. People crave winter in summer, and summer in winter. It’s not to say one is better than the other, it’s just a matter of finding out how long you personally want those seasons to last.
Traveling is like a serious drug problem for some people. You need it, you want it, and then you hit rock bottom. You go into rehab, get away from it, and then when you feel like you have been cure…WHAM…a relapse.
I am 30 next year and can tell you that my days of traveling for months at a time are long behind me. But that does not mean I care less about travel. If anything, travel is more of a sickness now than it was 10 years ago. But I prefer to hit up a few locales over a week or two then take a break for a month to six weeks. Once it is time again to start packing it is way more exciting for me.
Unfortunately that loneliness is a major setback of traveling solo. One thing I always tell people when they say how cool it is that I travel writer for a living is that it can be a little bit lonely. I mean I go on press trips alone, dine out alone, go back to my hotel alone (although my wife probably prefers it that way), and I experience things on my own. I prefer to travel with someone and share a travel moment. But sadly I am surrounded by people that have not been bit by the travel bug quite like yours truly.
Safe travels Matt and look forward to checking out your updates from abroad.
Andrew
i cant really agree with the ‘tired of everything’ and ‘one of x places’ thingy. i used to get tired of some places as well, but a change in scenery for a few days always helps. if you’re in the city for a while, go out camping for a day. if you’re near the sea go visit some mountains, the woods or parks. if you’re tired of hostels, try couchsurfing for a few days. For hadcore travellers who have seen everything i recommend the Falkland Islands, Mongolia or Kiribati as a getaway destination
matt – excellent article. i’ve not been a long-term traveler, really, although i have lived abroad for extended periods of time. i need a place to stay, to make a home. from there, i can branch out and explore the country/area/continent. i need, because of my disabilities, a place i can trust for accessibility.
that said, i completely understand what you mean, about needing constancy and less temporary-ness…
The longer we stay on the road, the more breaks we need. Like Sherry wrote, being a nomad for a long time makes you miss not having a base. That’s something I wish we had write now – a place of our own that we could return occasionally to work and recharge. Staying in hotels or rented apartments helps, but there’s that sense of wanting your own place.
I love “there are times you never want to see anything with the word “historic” ever again.” We just spent close to two weeks in Lima and have yet to see the “historic center” with all the churches and glitz. At first I felt guilty, but what I’m taking away from this place is all our time in markets and in individual restaurants talking with locals about food. That’s much more fulfilling right now than another photo of a beautiful church.
Great post.
I know its all true, but Matt?! Does this mean you will soon stop to travel?!
Everyone needs to settle down here and then. I want you to keep writing!!
Great post, Matt! I can totally identify with everything you said. Just finished a 5-month journey around Southeast Asia, and I was ready to rest. Totally road weary.
My solution has been to slow down. My rule is to spend a minimum of 4 nights in a place, unless I really hate it. Usually I stay at least a week. To recover from an intense trip around Myanmar (Burma), I spent 2 whole weeks in Bangkok, just chilling with friends and going out. No way would I want to travel at full speed, spending a night or two somewhere and zooming on.
Another solution is to live in a place for a while and combine your travel with some purpose, like studying, volunteering, or working. It’s nice to have a bit more of a focus than just sightseeing and partying, and you’ll meet lots of cool people. You might also pick up some valuable contacts, skills, and experience you can use to find a cool job.
I find the combination of living abroad with the occasional extended trip to be a good balance. When you live in a place, you can meet expats who are more semi-permanent and build a group to socialize with.
Even if I’m working, I’m still in a foreign country, so I don’t feel like I’ve “quit” travel for good. It’s a nice feeling to know that for about US$200-300, I can fly to any place in Asia.
Good luck, and hope you overcome your travel fatigue.
I spent 4 years cycling round the world, and the biggest challenge of that adventure was treading the fine line between terrible loneliness and glorious solitude.
So I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with this post.
Thanks,
Al
I think that’s a good way to put it!
Long-term travel is not for everyone. Finding someone who shares your passion for travel is a great idea. Independent souls may gravitate to long-term because they’re used to being on their own and enjoy the solitude. It pays to do your research. Speaking with long-term travelers is a great place to start. Travel may or may not be as glamorous as one thinks it to be. It’s a matter of perspective.
You have definitely hit a nerve here Matt. I also felt that subtle tugging of guilt from all the goodbyes. I always felt them after going ‘home’ to see family and childhood friends and then turning around and leaving again. I spent most of my 20’s between slow and fast traveling, and a side effect of all those goodbyes is how I handle friendships. I became attached to people very quickly, and until the last few years didn’t know how to sustain long term friendships at all.
and because of this, there are a lot less ‘one week friends’. We are however currently living in Scotland and our friends here are a major part of our lives. For me the Goodbyes are the most difficult.
I am now a we (Travelling family) and there is very little solitude
Thank You for writing about this
-Emma
Being on the road a long time certainly has it’s ups and owns. Even when I traveled long term with my husband we got road-weary.
Thank you for the great post. I’ve noticed on the nomad blogs I’ve followed that many go ‘dead’ after two or three years. I’ve wondered what happened and wish more would write about this side of extended travel.
Appreciate the insight, Matt. Long-term travel isn’t fun at all, but is exciting at times. Thank you for your detailed perspective..
quite insightful. everything u wrote is like a wake up call for all the budding travelers out there to realise that long-term travelling may not be the best thing to do – always! atleast it did for me!
I totally agree. Even though the longest term travel I ever did was 2 months, after a while, I had seen enough museums. When I was in Florence, I walked in and saw Michelangelo’s David, and just kinda went “meh”, I knew I had to take a break. I was 1 month into my European tour, and burnt out! I decided to take a break, and spend some time just relaxing, far far far away from any museums. I ended up spending 8 days in the Cinque Terre, in Italy.
Slow and steady travel seems to be the right way. I think my goal is to find a nice “home base” and spend a few months a year there, and spend the rest of the time traveling.
Do you get people, friends constantly telling you how jealous they are of what you’re doing? It’s so annoying after a while, can’t stand it even. Just be happy for me (us) !
I really enjoyed this. I can’t believe you have been on the road for 3 years straight. I did 13 months straight and when the holidays came, it got pretty hard for me. You can get so tired of meeting new travelers when you know they aren’t going in the same direction as you so your time together could be a couple hours or so.
How did my travels end? I was in the south of Mexico and drinking a beer and thought, “F*** it! It’s time to go home.” Seven hours later I was back in California.
it’s really true that there are the “not so good things” happening during travel because some people cannot see the other side of it. they only look towards the beautiful side that you’ve been into places and seeing different people and scenery. but the fact is that it’s hard to travel.
glad that you’ve shared some of your thoughts from traveling.
two thumbs up for that.
thanks
Find a cool, neat or quiet little town shut off your computer and relax for a week!
Great post. I have been in Sydney for the past five months studying abroad. It’s been really great and I have met many wonderful people. While I am not constantly on the move, I miss feeling connected to my location. I have met people I want to stay in touch with and hang out with more, but in the end I know I will be leaving and entering a new social circle. I have been contemplating becoming a nomad for a while, but I am longing for friends to share the experiences with. Your post really hit home and it’s good to know others feel the same way. Thanks!
I can really relate to the article. It’s very true. I haven’t traveled as much as I’d like to but I have moved a lot; I’ve lived in several cities in the US, and it does get old. Right now, I am ready to travel more, but I know from experience that there will come a time that I will want to have a little apartment somewhere and settle down for a bit. I think the most difficult thing to do is to find a balance between the two. As far as relationships go, being a wildland firefighter makes it nearly impossible to have a long-term relationship as well. I think life is all about finding the balance in things, and figuring out what one really wants. Loved this article.
This makes all the sense in the world to me. It’s like the difference between being a sprint runner or a marathon runner. I’m a sprinter. I have long admired the stamina of those of you who travel round the world for months or years at a time, but I am not envious of you. I couldn’t travel like that. I’d miss my home and my circle of friends too much. And as much as I love to get away to new places, there can be something comforting about coming back to my routine, too–sleeping in my own bed, taking a shower in my own bathroom, cooking in my own kitchen, etc.
Excellent, thought provoking piece, Matt. I’ve been reading you since I got back from my recent three months abroad, but have yet to comment. I know exactly what you mean about the endless hellos and goodbyes. It started to wear on me after a while and when I started traveling with someone and saw them for more than just a few days, I realized how nice that was. My last week, I wound up in Paris where I had a few friends, both from home and from my travels, and I loved that. I’ve always thought about doing an even longer trip like what you’re doing, but I’m not sure how I could handle all the goodbyes. All the new faces. Telling your story over and over and over again…
Matt-
I loooove to travel, but I looooove to come home. and I don’t mean the home in the materialistic sense, but home to my roots, my place of rest, my place of true reflection, my place of true relationships. And I’ve been in relationships with people who love to travel, but there’s something different. I’ve met plenty of people, plenty, who are as you say, “trying to escape something.” And they’re too stubborn to face it and DEAL with it. They just run away. For me, it’s always about relationships. Whether romantically or in friendships. It does get lonely and it does get tiring to meet such wonderful people only to never, ever, hear or see from them again, except through the pages of my travel journal. This is a great article. Thanks for being real and confronting the issue as is…
The solution is pretty simple… slow down!