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Not So Home Again
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I was excited to come home. In Brisbane, I told my friend Scott, that after months on the road, I was ready to call it quits. I love to travel but it had been a long time since I rested and the allure of hostels had worn off. I simply had traveled myself out. It was a chore now more than anything. New cities were boring and I didn't care to really meet any new people. Scott, having been in my situation before, agreed- you need to mix life up, he said, because, just like work can get boring, travel can too.

I came home to a myriad of phone calls from friends asking when I would come out. I was tepid at first. I wasn't really keen on going out and seeing them not because I didn't want to but because I was afraid I wouldn't know what to say. Being home was a weird feeling. After so long away, it wasn't really home anymore but just another place. It's a common problem among long term travellers- a feeling of alienation when returning home. There's excitement about seeing all your friends and old haunts yet uneasiness because you're not quite sure if you'll still belong. It was hard to convey that sense of "weirdness" to my friends and they never really quite got it. Those I traveled with did because they all felt it when they got home too.

Long term travel brings a lot of things but one thing you're really never ready for is that sense of uneasiness when you step foot home. What will I say? Will my friends and I still get along? Will places still be the same? Will I still like them? A lot goes through your mind and home is a shock but, luckily, one that wore away quickly. After a few weeks, I developed into a routine. I caught up with all my friends, told the same stories over and over again though never really knowing which one to tell. How do you sum up 18 months of adventure in a few sentences? It's very hard. "How was it?" they would ask. "Awesome." I'd say and that would be that. There might be a few follow up questions but never anything really in depth. I think sometimes my friends just didn't know what to say. How do ask someone how life is? In the end, it was like I'd never left. We went back to do the things we did before I left, talking about the same things, and visiting the same places. I reacquainted myself with all my favorite spots, restaurants, bars, and clubs and slowly, "it" dawned upon me.

After two months, I've realized I'm now longer home.

Everyone asked "how did you change?" That's something hard to say. I can't say for sure all the changes because they are incremental and happen so slowly you don't seem to notice them. But I know one obvious change: I came home and found out I wasn't home.

I love my friends and family and Boston is a wonderful place but its not that same for me. I'm not connected here the way I was before. Life here seems predictable and sometimes boring. Days are always seem the same. Overseas, there always seems so much more going on. International places with international people. Even working as much as I did in Bangkok was always more exciting. I guess I got used to the mix of people and the seemingly unending possibilities of everyday. Whereas here, I can plan my next three months out with ease.

So I'm in Boston now but I'm ready to travel again. I'm ready to head out into the unknown...the unpredictable. And maybe, some day, to one place I'll eventually call home.

posted by Nomadic Matt @ 6:07 AM  
6 Comments:
  • At Tuesday, April 01, 2008 8:33:00 AM, Blogger Maureen said…

    We're so boring

     
  • At Tuesday, April 01, 2008 11:09:00 PM, Blogger Rico said…

    i feel the same way. i feel tied down with my city, Edmonton. I guess it is up to me but it is not easy. i am torn by family ties, setting up finances, and building my career/education credentials and it is hard to do this with traveling. in the last 3 years, i was luck to travel between 2 to 4 months out of a year. so far in 2008, i have unfortunately have canceled my trip in Feb and Mar and my May/June vacation is in limbo an d that make me sad.
    thanks for your blog as it makes me think that i am not alone in the search of another city to call home. It is not that we dont love our city, but i feel that I belong elsewhere. good luck on your search.

     
  • At Wednesday, April 02, 2008 5:45:00 PM, Anonymous Nomadic Matt said…

    No worries rico. I can relate. I am sure things will pick up. Keep your eyes on the prize...thats what keeps me going

     
  • At Thursday, April 03, 2008 2:04:00 PM, Blogger Gary A said…

    Are you in Brisbane? I will be there next week. We should get a beer.

    Gary
    Everything-Everywhere.com

     
  • At Thursday, April 03, 2008 2:15:00 PM, Blogger Gary A said…

    Wow. I commented before I read the rest of your post. Never mind :)

     
  • At Saturday, April 05, 2008 7:53:00 AM, Blogger Rico said…

    Hey Matt... if you ever want to visit Edmonton, Canada, you are more than welcome to my home whether i am here or not. keep bloggin.

     
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